Sunday 19 May 2013

WARRIORS AND ROMANCE, PERFECT FOR 8 SENTENCE SUNDAY




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I didn’t sign up for this week because I felt so bad about not getting around to read everyone else’s 8 last week. Sorry. Watford FC won an important game and so celebrating seemed like a good idea. Alcohol bad.

As I'm only a weekend writer of Romance, Darrah is still having trouble with Sark Hale Tarla. In a time long past in our history, a Sarkisian ship is stranded on Earth. Assimilation is at an early stage but it has not proven to be an easy option for either people. Now, Hale has been assigned to Darrah and her arm of men. His role is to smooth over any diplomatic - or worse - problems that might arise in the Outlands, where the Sarkisians were allowed to settle, when they are sent to find the missing human heir to the Thorn Throne, Erishdren. Rogue Sarkisians are thought to have been behind the abduction.

In this piece I have returned to Darrah. She has been facing her friend, Rylo, the Factor -   second-in-command in her Arm of men – since he touched her shoulder to attract her attention. Rylo is worried. Darrah is still frayed and on edge after Hale goaded her into attacking him so he could prove a point: that in single combat, between a Sarkisian and one of her men, it would not be the human who came out the victor. They were both burned by the encounter.
I missed out a small gap where Hale explains his past, and my plot.

“Rylo?”
“With you, Koman.”
Darrah stared beyond her Factor towards the mountains, around the clearing, then down at the ground near her feet.
Rylo brought his bow up and tapped it against the one Darrah held, armed and ready. “Without enemies, you hone your skills on rodents? I feel sorry for the scurries, already.”
“Never could abide creatures that get the first gnaw on my food. I don’t mind the sharing, but tiny tooth marks push me over the edge.”

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #92

What’s your antagonist missing?  What hasn’t he yet seen, figured out or found?  Plant that discovery.

Hale has been working out what he was missing. 

16 comments:

  1. The first gnaw on my food---so descriptive. Really sets the tone.

    And it made me giggle a bit too.

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    1. Hi Violet
      Thank you. I'm glad you found it funny. It was the tension breaker.

      Plus, I realised mice had found their way into my house when I saw tiny teeth marks on a potato. I went from laid back to vengeful harpy in about two seconds ;)

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  2. Yuck! I'd go after them too. Tiny tooth marks would bug me.

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    1. Hi Kate
      It was the tooth marks that set me off too.

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  3. Love the hint of humor in something that doesn't feel as if it should be funny. Very well done.

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    1. Hi Joanne
      I think that's what people often do: if things are bad, they panic but if they are terrible, they joke. ;)

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  4. Eww- I couldn't share with them either.
    ~Summer

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    1. I know - scurries are the bane of civilisation ;) I knew that even before I found out about the peeing habits of mice. *eww

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  5. Replies
    1. Hi Elaine
      I'm not sure she really has it in for scurries. In a siege situation, they make good eating. *hehehe

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  6. I like the first gnaw on the food bit, but I wouldn't wanna eat that. Nice snippet!

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    1. Hi Frank
      Choice! If you get there first, you enjoy that bite-free eating ;)

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  7. Oh, that was wonderful! The background information was very helpful as well. Putting the dialogue in context makes it more powerful. Is this a wip or due for release? I really enjoyed it.

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  8. I love the dialogue! Excellent banter :-) "first gnaw on food. The scurries." Great choices :-) Good 8. :-)

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  9. I just wanna knoware you the same to be married to Joe Smith

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  10. are you till thereall these comments come from a year ago

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