Tuesday, 26 January 2010

a tiny query *shush!

Dear Agent

I am seeking representation for NEAR EDGWARE, a YA paranormal romance complete at 72,200 words.

Sixteen year old Jess Trainer does not understand Caleb Ridgeway. He alternates between interest and the cold shoulder. She could manage her emotions if he did not give her reasons to hope, but this on-off attraction drives her to the brink of stalker status.

Aware that the insular Ridgeway brothers have unique abilities, she suspects this why Caleb says their relationship cannot develop. When she finds out he is part of a pack rather than a family she is plunged into the seething war of attrition being fought in the woodland between those born human and those born were. Caleb is so traumatised after an attack Jess fears he will never recover. Can Jess help him back to reality, back to a time before the pain, back to her love?

Thank you for your time and consideration. I would be happy to send you the synopsis and first three chapters.


Elaine Smith

Then I had an amputation to perform. Dr Anne said it was necessary and she had a lot of second opinions.




Dad parked infront of the white, stone entrance. Even there I could see things had changed. On the new school crest a beast stood on two legs. With sharp teeth and raised claws, it glared down at the visitors to school.

I scanned the familiar, red brick building as I walked around the car to join Dad, "It looks different... larger than I remembered. Have I shrunk?"

Dad put his hand on my shoulder as we stepped into the reception area. He pressed the buzzer, and my arm, while we waited.

The secretary wove between the desks towards us, her expression was brighter that the "Welcome to Woodford College" banner on the wall.

"Hello, I'm Simon Trainer. This is my daughter, Jess. We're here to see the Headteacher."

She picked up a pen and tapped it on the diary, "Mr McIntyre is in his office. I'll let him know you've arrived. Please, push the green button and I'll let you in."

We sat beside the office and watched her hurry down the brown tiled corridor. I smoothed the fabric of my trousers over my knees, made sure my toe tapping was invisible inside my shoes.

"Mr McIntyre will see you now," whispered the assistant when she arrived back beside us.

Glancing at Dad I saw him narrow his eyes and straighten his shoulders, "It'll be fine."

We followed the secretary into a room dominated by a long, curved desk. Our view of the new Headteacher was limited to a glimpse of his mid-brown hair, and the jacket of a charcoal suit, as Mr McIntyre turned to reach into a low drawer in the filing cabinet behind his chair. I watched his chest expand as he drew in a deep breath before he swivelled back around.


  1. I loved reading this! I'm writing a YA too, but you have me intrigued!

  2. Hi Elaine. I posted my comments to your query at TPQSP, so I won't say much here. The main story, from the synopsis and first chapter I've read (both times you posted it) isn't being represented in your query. You're focusing on the romance between Caleb and Jesse.

    Your novel sounds extremely intriguing. And the query itself is well written. The line about Jesse that ends "drives her to the brink stalker status" is compelling, showing the depth of her curiosity. And the last line; "Can Jess help him back to reality, back to a time before the pain, back to her love?" captures her dedication you her chosen mate (love).

    As for the chapter excerpt; that's just plain good writing. I'm hook, and drawn in to read more, and was disappointed when the submission ended so soon.

    Good luck Elaine. Seems like you are working very hard here - showing a perserverance worthy of Jesse's indomitable spirit.


  3. Many thanks for the kind, kind thoughts.
    I have been so busy at work I had to ban myself from everyting that makes life pleasureable.
    I'm all about the work/life so with the numbers of hours I put in this week I must be entitled to a month off. :s