JUST PAY A CORGI

It isn’t cold. Wearing thermal tights and leggings, three layers of tops, a zipped hoodie and a scarf, I can assure you it isn’t cold in my house. And as for washing up, shouldn’t it always take a steamy hour of wrinkled irritation to create these shiny efforts? *glum face, dripping jumper, slippery floor (really, love washing up:(!)

Do you know my plumber? Perhaps, that's for the best. I am the owner of a combination boiler with a taped flu – I know, aren’t I lucky? Emerging from the wall, my flu has a missing section replaced by masking tape. It is attached to the wall by the same grey tape too but – much to my relief – my plumber didn’t do it. Three Ideal Boiler service engineers and a Gas Safety inspection later, my plumber says he didn’t do that taping thing, doesn’t know how it got there, but he didn’t do it.

Mr Byrne of Gas Safety says there is nothing that can be done because my engineer said he didn’t do it. Plumberguy says he doesn’t do central heating, gas installations, any more so he doesn’t need Gas Safety accreditation. He is just a plumber, now. But he is a plumber so magical that when pieces of flu decide they want to leave a gap – travelling is popular, I believe – they detach the correct bracket and pack it away so they can travel together. Not being cruel, heartless or dangerous, they taped the absconded section and wacked a piece of tape onto the wall. My external vent and flu have more humanity than the charming plumber with the ex-Corgi/Gas Safe Credentials who is at liberty to produce work of this extraordinary quality. Now, if you do know anyone who is considering hiring JMC Engineering of Watford I would be delighted to show them the quality of the work they can expect.