Monday, 12 July 2010

USURY - Double Desired

No. No, split it. 
It makes more sense when you break the thought down: what makes me? What makes me tick? Tick; like a time bomb?
What makes me? 
Perhaps it's more like what made me.
That, right there is... a problem.
It’s not what makes me tick. It's not who either.
And I do tick, slick and sick. Unbelievably sick, I tick.
Like Mr Grayson said in class everything can be traced back to some point in the past. Like he said it was “Nature verses Nurture?”
Well, that statement presumes too much. He means nature, as in the natural order of things? What if his understanding is limited -- based on preconceived ideas, that have no basis in reality?
When he said Nurture, he meant like the hands that held? The care given? Again, that suggests –
But, I do want to feel. Physically. I want to feel something without fee, or dues. I don’t want payment or rewards. I want to feel something real.
Hands are blunt weapons, they lead to plasters, bandages and hospital visits.
But, I do want to feel hands and arms. 
Or not.
When people connect - make a physical connection - it is more than complicated it's binding and blinding.
I want to feel simple touches.
Don’t give me that look; you said you’d listen.
I want to be free to feel.

I’m not free.

Don't you love it when bits of the book turn up when your asleep? If you are lucky, like I was last night, you have a note book and and pen (that works) by the side of the bed. I was relieved this monologue turned up in such a sensible place. I would have hated to have missed out on any more of Will's struggle to make himself understood.

Where is the oddest place an idea has occurred to you?


  1. #1) the potty. #2) raking leaves in the backyard. #3) washing the dog.

  2. I was in the dentist chair this morning and got a great idea for the protag of my next wip. Love it :)

  3. Yep totally when I was asleep. I woke up thinking I had penned a masterpiece, but couldn't remember a thing. I was guttered.

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  5. Near Edgware turned up, almost whole. I went to pick Minnow up from the usual Tube station. She was an hour late. I was pacing backwards and forwards in Stanmore Station. Thought she might have meant Edgware Station.
    I drove backwards and forwards between the two for the next half an hour in a state of total panic. I kept running through a comprehensive list of "what might have happeneds" , when her mobile kept announcing it was "unavailable". (Her train had broken down in a tunnel.)
    My list included werewolves - Stanmore was "stain on the moor" and Edgware was the "edge of the Were" territory boundary.
    On the Saturday, I went to Keep Fit still mulling it all over.
    I drove to Harrow Weald Common and I knew what I wanted to write.