From internal and external sources have washed through my week ~~
Pressure ripples - self-directed and external:
- panic and self-examination - the less healthy end of self-analysis
- Stock-take Day - so much more than taking stock - the feeling that you're being fitted for the old-fashioned version of the stocks
- endlessly re-'reading', re-'visiting' and re-'evaluating' and re-'thinking' the planning (not changing it - there never was anything wrong with it) for the week
- spending hours pondering every comment ever written in my books -humour is in the 'eye' of the two people involved in on the joke - not all jokes translate into 'inspection speak'
- selecting the 4 books that best represent the different abilities in your set (ability sets in a Primary school - contentious apparently) - 22 disappointed
Didn't get to sleep before 2:30 am any night this week since Sunday!
Good ripples - achievements this week:
Learning my last lesson was rated - or would have been if it had followed the formal protocal (ie the whole session) a 1 (this is as good as it gets without inventing a whole new grading system - that'll be next week)
Passing my Refresher First Aid Course - I can again resuscitate an 'Annie' if not a real human (as yet, thankfully, untested)
PPM (pupil progress meeting) successfully negotiated - yes same week
Family ripples - Pressure caused by the offspring:
FIRST LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY
Multi-disciplinary heaven went well - as long as you can put up with the patently obvious being discussed as if it were new news - do you know we had noticed that he:
- is hard to manage
- doesn't like to do what he is directed to do
- won't eat healthily
- has eaten even when he says he hasn't
- won't .... any of the other 557 things you can think of either
Yeah - we know that actually!
SECOND LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY
My 'intervention' - when the younger version decided to go to school dressed in a bad, British comedy, French Maid costume - didn't go down well - I rounded off the second day of the 'School "Non-Uniform" Wars' - by kicking the cupboard door when she explained that she couldn't wear brown tights because they matched
Pressure - physical:
Limping all day - see above - I have no sympathy - don't kick cupboards if you're not intending to hurt your feet - I seriously thought I'd broken something 'til the something clicked back
Enjoying the light relief?
That lot has been the light relief that has saved me crumpling in a big heap from Tuesday onwards - on Tuesday morning the hospital put my friend on a ventilator - to alleviate the pressure on her heart. The doctors stopped the anti-biotics - they didn't think they were helping.
Then came the flicker of hope from the misery of others - ripples
A cousin phoned my friend's mother on an unrelated matter and said - that sounds exactly like the condition an uncle and cousin had!
Suddenly the doctors had two avenues of investigation - after so many days when 'no worse' had stopped sounding like good news even to the most optimistic of ears:
- hereditary - miserable but at least a cause rather than a symptom
- other treatment avenues that appear to have worked for others
I haven't felt anything but pathetically tearful for days (when I stopped stressing long enough to allow the waves of real crises to crash into my conscious thoughts) -Hail! Return of the optimist! - It's a (qualified) good feeling!
Still Writing? Sort of ... this! I deserve some sleep and tomorrow is Friday and I'm 'rather fond' of those remember? I'm feeling that feeling grow!