Return of the optimist after the 'inspector calls' - ripples

Ripples ...

From internal and external sources have washed through my week ~~

Pressure ripples - self-directed and external:

• panic and self-examination - the less healthy end of self-analysis
• Stock-take Day - so much more than taking stock - the feeling that you're being fitted for the old-fashioned version of the stocks
• endlessly re-'reading', re-'visiting' and re-'evaluating' and re-'thinking' the planning (not changing it - there never was anything wrong with it) for the week
• spending hours pondering every comment ever written in my books -humour is in the 'eye' of the two people involved in on the joke - not all jokes translate into 'inspection speak'
• selecting the 4 books that best represent the different abilities in your set (ability sets in a Primary school - contentious apparently) - 22 disappointed

Didn't get to sleep before 2:30 am any night this week since Sunday!

Good ripples - achievements this week:

Learning my last lesson was rated - or would have been if it had followed the formal protocal (ie the whole session) a 1 (this is as good as it gets without inventing a whole new grading system - that'll be next week)

Passing my Refresher First Aid Course - I can again resuscitate an 'Annie' if not a real human (as yet, thankfully, untested)

PPM (pupil progress meeting) successfully negotiated - yes same week

Family ripples - Pressure caused by the offspring:

FIRST LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY

Multi-disciplinary heaven went well - as long as you can put up with the patently obvious being discussed as if it were new news - do you know we had noticed that he:

• is hard to manage
• doesn't like to do what he is directed to do
• won't eat healthily
• has eaten even when he says he hasn't
• won't .... any of the other 557 things you can think of either

Yeah - we know that actually!

SECOND LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY

My 'intervention' - when the younger version decided to go to school dressed in a bad, British comedy, French Maid costume - didn't go down well - I rounded off the second day of the 'School "Non-Uniform" Wars' - by kicking the cupboard door when she explained that she couldn't wear brown tights because they matched

Pressure - physical:

Limping all day - see above - I have no sympathy - don't kick cupboards if you're not intending to hurt your feet - I seriously thought I'd broken something 'til the something clicked back

Enjoying the light relief?

That lot has been the light relief that has saved me crumpling in a big heap from Tuesday onwards - on Tuesday morning the hospital put my friend on a ventilator - to alleviate the pressure on her heart. The doctors stopped the anti-biotics - they didn't think they were helping.

Then came the flicker of hope from the misery of others - ripples

A cousin phoned my friend's mother on an unrelated matter and said - that sounds exactly like the condition an uncle and cousin had!

Suddenly the doctors had two avenues of investigation - after so many days when 'no worse' had stopped sounding like good news even to the most optimistic of ears:

• hereditary - miserable but at least a cause rather than a symptom
• other treatment avenues that appear to have worked for others

I haven't felt anything but pathetically tearful for days (when I stopped stressing long enough to allow the waves of real crises to crash into my conscious thoughts) -Hail! Return of the optimist! - It's a (qualified) good feeling!

Still Writing? Sort of ... this! I deserve some sleep and tomorrow is Friday and I'm 'rather fond' of those remember? I'm feeling that feeling grow!