Sunday, 18 August 2013

WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS - 8 SENTENCE SUNDAY


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It has been so long since I posted - after my rash of consistency - I'm right-embarrassed. ;) But, here we go -- back to the old routine:

I'm hardly back from my holiday and I'm already thinking about the end of summer and my new Y2 class: fourteen days and counting!

The highlight of my week - after getting home on Wednesday - was entering a story in the Undiscovered Voices Competition run by SCBWI BI. I have never entered before. *eep ;)



As I'm only a weekend writer of Romance, Darrah is still having trouble with Sark Hale Tarla; although, today, she is feeling a little lost.

In a time long past in our history, a Sarkisian ship is stranded on Earth. Assimilation is at an early stage but it has not proven to be an easy option for either people. Now, Hale has been assigned to Darrah and her arm of men. His role is to smooth over any diplomatic - or worse - problems that might arise in the Outlands, where the Sarkisians were allowed to settle, when they are sent to find the missing human heir to the Thorn Throne, Erishdren. Rogue Sarkisians are thought to have been behind the abduction.



Darrah woke as a chill breeze lifted the fine hairs at her nape. She sat up and forced her senses to absorb the scene around her as she confirmed the stillness, and the scentless air.
It took moments to control her breathing. She had to calm her racing heart, and build composure at the core, to ready herself to deal with the dizzying rush of information.

Not one who expected to see the same four walls around her when she woke, Darrah took time, as she checked close, near, and more distant, that there were no apparent dangers, to recall her whereabouts and her current assignment. The foliage on the trees moved only with the wind, and the shadows conformed to the expected shapes and sizes. The high-pitched calls and other sounds were exactly as she would expect in The Forest of Drer, all species of the Outlands: peckers, blackbirds, nutscurries, and fleetdeer. Only her glance had confirmed that the other tents were empty – hide walls raised – and her bow rested on a rock a long-arm’s reach away.

DONALD MAASS Write Tip #72

Is your setting historical, exotic or invented?  Add immediately one common thing we’ll recognize from our own reality.

DID YOU FIND SOMETHING EXCITING TO DO DURING JULY AND AUGUST? HAVE YOU POSTED THIS WEEKEND? 

110 comments:

  1. She woke up in a scary place, I wonder where is everybody.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Linda
      Thanks for stopping by. :)
      Even when you wake up where you expect to be it can feel disorientating if the large and small details have changed.

      Delete
  2. Excellent description. You've got me on the edge of my seat with her, waiting for something to pounce on her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Joanne
      I'm glad you are fearful too. She is worried.

      Delete
  3. Very visual - and thanks a bunch for your comment - made my morning

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sue
      You are more than welcome :D
      I'm glad you liked the excerpt.

      Delete
  4. Beautiful! I loved how easily i could picture this and put myself into the story!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lauren
      Thank you.
      Darrah is totally thrown because her men are not where they ought to be at dawn. I wonder if Hale is responsible? ;)

      Delete
  5. Fabulous descriptions! I also love the tip from Donald Maas. He's going to be doing a workshop in my area for members of our two local RWA chapters. Might just be worth the price... :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Karysa
      Thank you. I'm glad you found the first of the 21st century novel tips from Donald Maass useful. But...Wow! I hope you can find the cash to hear him speak. If you do, I hope even more that you post all that you learn. The trip is a bit too transatlantic for me ;)

      Delete
  6. So much tension, and a great way to describe the creatures who inhabit that region. I also loved the writing tip - very cool :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan
      Thank you. I'm glad you went with Darrah's disorientation and felt the tension build with her. I was trying to make the familiar apparent but a little exotic too.

      Delete
  7. Interesting scene, loved the way she assessed her surroundings and the puzzling-to-her results. Can't wait to see what happens next! Excellent excerpt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Veronica
      Thank you. Whatever happens next I can't think she's going to be finding it anything but vexing.

      Delete
  8. I'm not sure how she got here, but I hope she figures it out soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She went to sleep in camp surrounded by her men, that's kind of what she expected to find when she woke up. I guess she must find putting Sarkisians in their place a bit too e wearing? ;)

      Delete
  9. Is there magic in this world? Or is something else going on?

    Either way, fascinating snippet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sarah
      That's a good question. Things are a bit more sneaky than Snape-ish ;)

      Delete
  10. Mainly, I'm just working on my new WiP. Other than that, nothing really exciting. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Misha
      I'm glad you were able to spend the summer watching the word count rise. :D

      Delete
  11. Welcome back! Hope the holiday was good :-)

    This scene is so full of description, and the tension builds subtly. I do wonder where the other people are. :-)

    Thanks for the writing tip. July and August were porchville days for me, after my 40+ outside of the home. It's all good. I'm fond of porchville. Thanks for asking!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Teresa
      I'm glad you enjoyed the 8.
      My holiday has been blisteringly hot and sunburn-y... thank you. Your porchville sounds a lot like my shady summer house ;)

      Delete
  12. Great descriptions- Thank you for sharing.
    ~Summer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Summer
      Thank you. I love 8 sentences, it gives just enough time to really set a scene.

      Delete
  13. That bow seems just a little too far away for comfort...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Millie
      Yep... that bow is definitely NOT where she left it ;)

      Delete
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