Wordsmithing: SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY

Sunday, 3 July 2011

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - STARRING

It's Sunday!

I really appreciate the time people take to comment on the six sentence sections.

Thanks for your thoughts.

This week, the six sentences are from my MG fantasy novel STARRING.

Lucas' one happy moment, before the Board of Advisement convene the inquisition.

Nia and Cate giggled high like clinking glasses. They looked from Lucas to the tree stump eyes growing wider with their grins, and then they really laughed. Arms wrapped tight, they could not hold their laughter in. They kept on laughing, although now it was punctuated by snorts and hiccoughs and rolling side to side. Suddenly warm in the shade of the tree, Lucas thought it had been funny. But it wasn’t that funny.

Thanks for reading. Have a great Sunday :D

5 comments:

Jemi Fraser3 July 2011 at 15:47
Great snippet! Makes me want to read more :)
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lexcade3 July 2011 at 16:19
I want to read more too! I love this concept. Can't wait for next Sunday!
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Golden Eagle3 July 2011 at 21:16
I have to wonder what they find so funny--great excerpt! :)
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Danette4 July 2011 at 00:36
Enjoyed it very much... you could use metaphor about their laughter rather than simile in the first sentence and talk the glass clinking in a toast or something...
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Unknown4 July 2011 at 08:54
Hi Jemi
Thanks :) I'm glad you liked the snippet.

Hi lexcade
Thanks. Your enthusiasm is always encouraging. :D

Hi GE
Thanks you. Don't you think "nothing-much" is always and never this funny ;)

Hi Danette
Oooh! Thanks for this idea - I'll try a few different ways to make it concrete and see if they flow.
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RETURN: YA Paranormal Romance

I was running late. But, it was nothing I couldn’t make up with a bit of effort. I shook my head. Confident and happy? I smiled. Increasing my stride, I pushed until the muscles in my legs burned. I kept up the pace even when the hill grew steeper.

Magpie Lane was hardly wider than a ribbon that edged the woods but that didn’t stop traffic using it to get to the motorway quicker. Large trucks and fast cars loved Magpie Lane. They sent vibrations running through me rising from the soles of my trainers. I felt the disturbance in the ground, even before the air pressure tried to knock me off balance. I hunched my shoulders as the cab hauling a container spat stones up at me.

Jogging on the spot, at the entrance to woodland, I ached to leave the road and go inside. My Mum was probably still asleep but I could hear her you-never-know-what might-be-in-there lecture buzzing on repeat inside my head. I should run safe. Not even I would argue that running through the woods on my own was the best definition of safe but I wanted to run-wild and the woodland offered me that. This early, I should be safe from axe murderers or perverts in the trees and besides, I was fast.

I jogged down the slope into the trees. From two paces in, I felt different. Freer. It felt so right. Running in the woods did great things for my style. Avoiding the roots and dodging branches forced my stride longer, I had to step higher. The woodland, The Weald, was only a sliver of ancient woodland that the developers forgot to build on but it felt like it could have been anywhere. Everywhere. At any time. The oaks and beech trees dominated the space and the skinny, silver-birches squeezed up beside them. I laughed. For a second, the woods reminded me of school and I needed to run a lot faster.

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Sunday, 3 July 2011

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - STARRING

5 comments: