Tuesday, 5 July 2011

DARK AND STORMY? MINE'S MORE GREY

I had Bulwer-Lytton moment this afternoon.

Can you imagine "It was a dark and stormy night" ever being a new way to hook a reader?

I read the winners of the 2011 Lyttle Lytton Competition the clever and the cringey.

My poetically crafted  sentence is colouring the scene until every shade blends to confounded grey:

Rain teared the cobbles until the sodden ground oozed; the wind, like the keening wails of sudden widows, howled through deserted streets and lightning peaked in bleaching flashes across the rooftops’ bare-boned spars, each hunched against the grieving force, when the tempest swelled and the army floundered far from home.  (50words)

CAN YOU WRITE THE WORST OPENING SENTENCE FOR A NOVEL?

"Tick is not following tock," said Maurice the clockmaker as he licked at a sooty spring in the back of the watch.

Ugh! Of course, it could just be me - germs, things with moving parts and mouths ;) 


Posted by Unknown at Tuesday, July 05, 2011
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6 comments:

  1. Unknown5 July 2011 at 17:41

    I like yours. I agree with the clock thing though, why would you put your tongue on it?

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  2. Anne R. Allen5 July 2011 at 17:54

    Love yours! I think entries like the clock one miss the point. They're just go for the "ick" factor instead of creating cleverly bad prose. But ick seems to win a lot of prizes. We used to have a "bad poetry" contest in my town, until the entries got so icky everybody got grossed out and they canceled the contest.

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  3. Misha Gerrick5 July 2011 at 21:05

    I loved your opening. But now I have to wonder... why would anyone like the oily gears at the back of a watch?

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  4. Unknown6 July 2011 at 08:22

    Hi Clarissa
    Thanks :) The tongue is a lot more sensitive than fingers. Testing the balance?

    Hi Anne
    Thank you :D I love taking an extended metaphor and stretching it until the connectives squeak ;)

    Hi Misha
    Thank you :) Tongues are sensitive to 'minute' changes ;) *JOKE :D

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  5. The Happy Whisk6 July 2011 at 15:38

    One of my favorite books on writing is that Snoopy book. Great, great, great stuff.

    Happy Writing :-)

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  6. Unknown6 July 2011 at 16:30

    Hi Ivy
    Can't go wrong with Snoopy ;)

    ReplyDelete

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