SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - THREE PERSONS BUT ONE PRESENT

Tsukioka Yoshitoshi's

Looking Smoky...

Image from Wikimedia Commons

For my short story competition entries I have been experimenting with present tense. It seemed like a good time to see how the reading experience is altered when the narrative is written in first, second and third person too.

FIRST PERSON present:

There are six levels of sorting.

I hate smelling, sitting inside a primordial swamp of laundry, fending off images of the origins of every odour. There’s nothing good to be gained by thinking too much, and it’s not like I’ve another option.

Not thinking about it was my mum’s answer to everything; that, and re-brewing cups of stewed tea. I sit on shirts, in smalls, between socks, and I'm sure keeping front of house is more important.

When was the last time I immersed myself in laundry?

SECOND PERSON present: 

There are six levels of sorting.

You hate smelling, sitting inside a primordial swamp of laundry, fending off images of the origins of every odour. There’s nothing good to be gained by thinking too much, and it’s not like you've another option.

Not thinking about it was your mum’s answer to everything; that, and re-brewing cups of stewed tea. You sit on shirts, in smalls, between socks,and you're sure keeping front of house is more important.

When was the last time you immersed yourself in laundry?

THIRD PERSON present: 

There are six levels of sorting.

She hates smelling, sitting inside a primordial swamp of laundry, fending off images of the origins of every odour. She knows there’s nothing good to be gained by thinking too much, and it’s not like she has another option.

Not thinking about it was her mum’s answer to everything; that, and re-brewing cups of stewed tea. She sits on shirts, in smalls, between socks, and she’s sure keeping front of house is more important.

When was the last time she immersed herself in laundry?

WHICH POINT OF VIEW - first person, second person, third person - ATTRACTS YOU MOST?