I was on my fifth length of front crawl when I realised there were three other swimmers preparing too. On the wall at the other side, two Ridgeway brothers were sitting dipping their goggles ready to put them on. Caleb was standing above me on the edge of the pool, his lips pulled up into the smallest of smiles.
"I thought you were never going to surface."
He was talking to me. My ears were blocked because his words sounded muffled. Shaking my head to clear the fog of confusion, I remembered to breathe. My heart sped up rather than settled down.
His smile grew a little wider, as I reached for the wall to steady myself. But when he sat, and stretched his hand closer to me every system in my body, supposed to work on the autopilot, malfunctioned.
I moved my hand, as a reflex reaction. I thought he was offering to help me climb from the water. But it faltered to a stop in the space which stretched between us. He wasn't offering to help. His face was solemn. This was an invitation into his life. He scanned my features intently.
"Jess?" His hand didn't waver, as he waited.
I clenched my fingers into tight fists beneath the surface of the water, tilted my head so I could see him better. This had been planned. Alex and Raphael were official observers, their faces were lined with concern. Caleb still waited.
In the minute details: the gentlest of smiles, the narrowed eyelid and the arch of eyebrow were glimmers of his hope and trust, and endless patience.
Raising my hand, I kept my eyes focussed on his as our palms met. The warmth between us grew. My hand burned hotter than my red-stained cheeks. A pull somewhere deep inside me demanded I left my hand in his, but time had passed and I had to break the connection.
As I began to draw back Caleb turned his hand over so my palm slid slowly over his. Fingertips curled, clung, tried to maintain the contact. His smile of pleasure shone in a face which already glittered with the pool's reflected light. When my nail scraped beyond his I lowered my hand into the water, surprised it didn't bubble, hiss and sizzle.
Caleb slid down the wall beside me but it wasn't his nearness which made me realise we had just bridged some serious divide.
I can't wait to read all the Love at First Sight passages.
Happy Saint Valentine's Day - my wedding anniversary <3
Awesome! I'm right there with them in the pool room. Great insight into her character in only a few lines - well done :)
ReplyDeleteWoh; very sensual. Love it. I'd like to be Jess at this moment. I feel the heat between them.
ReplyDeleteI'd post my own, but it's subtle, over an entire chapter. Not as intense as this.
Happy Valentines, and thanks for the excerpt.
.............dhole
Hi Jemi and Donna
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments. I'm glad you both enjoyed the moment Caleb decided to let Jess become the keeper of his heart. It took longer before he trusted her with his secret. :)
"This was an invitation into his life." Great line that sets up the decision she is facing. I enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDeleteI liked this! I'm curious as to the backstory here between them :)
ReplyDeleteNicely done. This kind of scene is always tricky to write and you set it up very well.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. Very intense. I want to know how they came to this.
ReplyDeleteoooh, pool side romance! Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteI liked this one a lot too. My favorite part? "Fingertips curled, clung, tried to maintain the contact." I liked how both tried to maintain that delicious touch.
ReplyDeleteI love this:
ReplyDeleteIn the minute details: the gentlest of smiles, the narrowed eyelid and the arch of eyebrow were glimmers of his hope and trust, and endless patience.
Great job--and Happy Anniversary/V-Day! :)
Ah, lovely gentle pacing and wonderful descriptions. I can almost feel the tension and release. Very nice! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI've been out and about reading the Blogfest entries and look what I found when I got back!
My thanks to everyone who hs linked and followed. I'm so pleased to find you here.
I have to go and rescue my "Oops sorry I appear to have missed the last train" daughter.
Then I'm going to Liverpool for the belated 'Versary thing - I hope I'll get the chance to get back around the Blogosphere before I set off but I've been pushing my luck all evening ;)
So sweet :) I could feel just how warm that water must have been after her hand returned to the pool.
ReplyDeleteVery intense but very well done. And I lov the last line. :)
ReplyDeleteWow! This was so strong, so vivid. And yet concise. You threw us into this setting and into the moment with just a few well-chosen strong words. And the undercurrents of desire...very subtle, but it sizzles, really. I really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful scene. Quiet but powerful. The description is so evocative. I loved how the hand "faltered to a stop in the space which stretched between us." Really lovely.
ReplyDeleteVery rich with sensual tension. Loved it, especially this line: "When my nail scraped beyond his I lowered my hand into the water, surprised it didn't bubble, hiss and sizzle."
ReplyDeleteLovely scene. The tension between your characters is excellent.
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary!!
Aw, happy anniversary! Your scene was, well, intense and sweet and... I want keep reading!
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Its always a great thing when the reader wants more of what you've given them. Thanks for posting in the Love at First Sight Blogfest!
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary! Loved this line: "surprised it didn't bubble, hiss and sizzle." Great job building tension.
ReplyDeleteOooh, I've always loved swimming pools as settings. Nice scene!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this, Elaine! I liked the tension, uncertainty, and resolution. I also enjoyed the image of an outstretched hand being an invitation into his life. Great post! Happy Belated Anniversary!
ReplyDeleteWow! You are a master at internalization and setting. I love the tension you created. Exciting stuff! Thank you for your comments on my blog! :)
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! I love how she considers the two other guys "official witnesses"! I would have loved to read more :)
ReplyDeleteLoved it! More?? Please.
ReplyDeleteSorry I just got around to stopping by! I am seriously having issues getting to read everyone's blogfest entries!!
it's subtle, over an entire chapter. Not as intense as this.
ReplyDeleteWork from home India