Editing and having fun with words

I love editing: snipping, slicing and re-working the story until the essence is left to tell the tale - complete with L5 punctuation and vocabulary, of course. :)


STAYING LOST
The sounds in the world beyond were deadened by the rushing of blood, as Jon finally set off on his carefully paced out run towards the ball. He didn’t make it that far. His path was intercepted by the figure dressed in black leather. The motorbike had arrowed in on the far side of the rugby pitch where Jon, with his ash-blond hair, was a solitary and distinctive figure. He was the last person to know that the motorbike was about to arrive – fast and furious across the pitch. The first thing he felt was the shower of mud which, fountained up from the tyres as they spun on the soggy grass, rained down on him. Then, pain when a booted foot crashed into his knee. Lastly, the arm that reached around him, squeezing out his breath and hauling him off the floor. It was fair to say that he had noticed the motorbike by that point.