Sunday, 26 April 2009

Emote that ...

The 'artist in residence' is up to her neck in exam preparation.
So, she turns to the writer in residence and says: 'I need a piece to put into my study of the work of Jenny Holzer - there is a key word if you can get it in...'

I closed my eyes and took myself back to the time after 'shock and disbelief' and before real 'acceptance'. The day the total stranger said he hoped 'the boy' "would go home and die in his sleep"!

I HATE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE; IT ISN’T MUCH BUT THERE’S NO-ONE IN HERE WHO LOOKS THAT LOOK AT ME: THE ONE THEY USE WHEN I’M OUT WITH HIM. OUR HOME IS NO HAVEN OF PEACE, BUT IT IS A SANCTUARY COMPARED TO OUT THERE WITH HIM. HE EXISTS AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED HIM, IN THEORY, SO THAT’S ALL THERE IS TO IT. ANTISOCIAL, AMORAL AND AGGRESSIVE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AT THE TOP OF MY LIST OF QUALITIES MY CHILD SHOULD HAVE BUT FATE JUST LOVES TO PLAY WITH LIVES. I ASKED FOR HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SMART, AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I GOT. I TRY TO GO OUT THERE BUT THEY LOOK AT ME: I HATE THE PITY OF THE BETTER INFORMED, LOATHE THE CONDEMNATION OF THE LESS AND CRINGE FROM THE LOOKS FROM ANYONE HE HAS HURT.
I LIKE HOME – PRISON AND SANCTUARY.

Then I went to the pub and Man Utd probably secured the league title - they can't screw it up and really wreck my life can they?

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