NEAR EDGWARE? We've Come a Long Way, Baby.

 On her Blog, The Writer's Hole, Christine is hosting the You've Come a Long Way, Baby Blogfest/Anniversary Contest. On Saturday, 5th February you can click over to read the rest of the entries. If you have kept those early drafts of your wip, you can showcase how your writing has evolved. 

From Christine's website:

You don't have to participate in the blogfest to be entered in the contest. Winners will be chosen randomly among everyone who has become a follower of The Writer's Hole and posted a comment that they want to enter, by Saturday, Feb. 5th.
You can earn additonal entries as follows:

+1 for promoting the contest on your blog

+1 each for tweeting or posting on FB

+2 entries if you put up a sample of your own early-in-my-learning-process, sort-of-awful-but-I-don't-mind-embarassing-myself writing.

+1 more for a rewrite of it, showing off your improved skills.


NEAR EDGWARE - with a crafty twist of word order - was selected by Nathan Bransford as the perfect example of a manuscript that was not-exactly-ready-to-be-queried. During the Agent For A Day Competition, I received over 300 pieces of advice (and kept copies of lots) ; all of them taught me to learn to write lean.


FIRST EVER OPENING – CALL ME HAPPY: I’M GLAD TO BE HOME 128,000 words 

We arrived at midnight; a clear, bright, moonlit kind of midnight without a cloud to spoil the silky navy blue. It was perfect, so perfect. My heart sang – I swear it did – as I jumped out of the car and scrunched my feet into the white chips of marble. My first sound of home. Back and forward, I twisted to thoroughly absorb the feeling and that sound. But the loudest sound that broke free with each twist of my feet was a giggle. I’d missed this sound. I loved this sound: just thinking of it made me smile. If I had less of an audience, I’d get back into the car just so I could get out and stand onto our drive again.

MID-PROCESS – WHERE DOES THE STORY REALLY START? 92,000 words

Dad parked in front of the white stone entrance. Even there, I could see things had changed. On the new school crest a beast with sharp teeth and raised claws stood on two legs, it glared down at the visitors to school.

I scanned further along the familiar, red brick building as I walked around the front of the car to join Dad, "It looks different... larger than I remembered. Have I shrunk?" 

He put his hand on my shoulder as we stepped into the reception area. He pressed both the buzzer, and my arm, while we waited.

The secretary wove between the desks towards us; her expression was brighter than the “Welcome to Woodford College” banner on the wall.

 “Good Morning. I’m Simon Trainer. This is my daughter, Jess. We’re here to see the Headteacher.”

END-PROCESS - THE UNDERLYING EMOTIONS 72,000 words

Matt, from History, had mumbled, You good? but, when I nodded, he went in. I wanted to go in. Standing outside in the corridor, I wanted it so badly, I stepped back instead. In the main building everything was quiet and ordered. It even smelled wrong: air-freshener sickly. Me and the school, we’d both had make-overs but only school was different on the inside.

In the Common Room students sprawled over the soft chairs, territories marked out with invisible force fields. Around the edges, smaller groups talked quietly. Right at the back, near an open window, three blond boys were huddled together, their heads so close they were almost touching. The boy whose back was towards me had hints of curls in his short hair. He glanced around then pushed his brothers back a few more steps.

The group I was looking for stood in the centre of the room. I was only back when I was there with them too.

OK – I KNOW BETTER NOW – I WANT THE HAPPINESS BUT I WANT TO FIND THE PLACE WHERE THE STORY STARTS 70,000 words
Some people run towards things, others run away; I just run. 


The inciting incident.

This is a plot element that arrives near the beginning of the drama. It connects the situation the characters find themselves in at the beginning, or before the novel begins, to the end. It begins the action and also sets up the motivating question. The focus is on the character and reader suspense.