IN YOUR WIP, WHAT IS WORSE THAN DEATH?

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Jeremy Zerfoss

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #90

What does it mean in this story to die? What’s worse than actual death? Have your MC suffer that.

“There’s things that are worse than death. Broken Unloveables who never had a hope of a happy-here; Fading Greys who’ve near-crumbled anyways: those are the states of being that are worse than dead. Who’d want to live the scavenge way when sustenance and warmth come hard? Dead worse is those who’ve made their choice and are a-wanting to be dead but know that soft-death costs. Not finding a way to pass without accompanying pain is only the thought misery, or hunger, forces on Edgefolk. Who-ever would carry this pain into the Nextus?”

IN YOUR WIP, WHAT IS WORSE THAN DEATH?

Are you sending your protagonist somewhere especially frightening?

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Gene Wolfe...with the hardest advice for thedébut novelist to follow.

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #89

What’s the place your protagonist must enter at the end? Earlier, make it a place of fear.

“Just dive down, and find the scroll. Once you have it safely in your pouch, you can swim out as fast as your strong arms and legs can pull you," Garra's voice was hard. "A straightforward task. It’s not as if you’ve never swum through the Clar’s watery clasp before."

Versa refused to meet her mother's determined gaze. "I caught my cloak," she said. "No matter how I pulled, it would not tear."

"You were snared in the stony embrace?" The hands that reached for her curled into fists, as Garra moved towards her daughter. "Yet you are here? He let you go."

"He bides, Mother. I left my dignity, with my clothes, in that embrace."

"I recall. But, that was before – before you rescued Heille? You re-entered Clar’s Cavern for her, but you won't retrieve the scroll that proves our entitlement to our ancient lands?"

Versa stared at Garra without expression. "They say, if the Clar claims you for his own, he’s a jealous lover," she said. "I freed myself once. And sneaked round, and away, behind his back the next. If I go to him again, he’ll hold me firm. This time, I fear he’ll make me his.”

Where are you sending your protagonist so they can be really afraid?

#88 Did you put your MC on a tall enough pedestal?

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Patrick Rothfuss has minimal, but essential, advice ;)

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #88

When your MC makes a mistake, who’s let down? Earlier, build up that character’s high regard of your MC

“I don’t want to say I’m disappointed like I feel all-Love’ya. Don’t that slide out easy when there isn’t any rough feelings to slow down the pace?

I thought you were the one thing in the world I could rely on.

The thing about disappointment is it seems it comes with the idea that I just lost something that never existed.”

Did you put your MC on a pedestal so, when he made a mistake, he had a long way to fall?

WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS HALE IS DRAWN TO DARRAH

If you are interested in follow this link: WWR

As I'm only a weekend writer of Romance, Darrah is still having trouble with Sark Hale Tarla. In a time long past in our history, a Sarkisian ship is stranded on Earth. Assimilation is at an early stage but it has not proven to be an easy option for either people. Now, Hale has been assigned to Darrah and her arm of men. His role is to smooth over any diplomatic - or worse - problems that might arise in the Outlands, where the Sarkisians were allowed to settle, when they are sent to find the missing human heir to the Thorn Throne, Erishdren. Rogue Sarkisians are thought to have been behind the abduction.

He absorbed enough warmth directly from the weak sun when he turned his face higher and tried to ignore the corona of energy radiating from her.

 With the edge removed from his craven need, he opened himself to fissioning edge of the complex energy source he recognised too well. It already echoed at his core. He drew to mind the cries of the young warrior who’d been separated from the body of her comrades. Recalled the weakness that had drawn him a forest clearing long ago. Darrah’s slow fading. The Fates were cruel weavers if they had–again–tangled his life with the girl he had rescued only so he would be the one who snared her, and drained all the bright from her soul.

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #87

In any MC scene, ask: What does your MC not want to admit, acknowledge or face right now? Force it on him. Let it hurt.

Hale saved her life once. Now he is sure he is fated to end it. He is drawn to Darrah but he doesn't believe she will survive his attentions. 

HOW IS YOUR MC SUFFERING?

EXPRESS THE STRONGEST EMOTIONS PHYSICALLY

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JODY LYNN NYE

DONALD MASS WRITE TIP #85

What’s your MC’s strongest emotion in your story? Imagine your MC is mute. How does she physically express what’s inside?

Holly draped a leg over the arm of the chair. The white stars that decorated her red boot-shaped slippers practically blurred as her foot moved.

"You’re wondering how I persuaded Mr Merton to give Mum the evening off,” said Sebastian. "I just told him Mum had a bad case of strep."

Holly’s tongue dropped several degrees when the cold air circulated and her mouth refused to close.

"He didn’t fire her!" Sebastian said, "He signed her off for a few days. Unless the medical tests he ordered come back with something properly infectious," he added thoughtfully. "Then, maybe he’ll have to hire himself a new housekeeper. Mum might consider the break as a kick in the career."

Holly raised an eyebrow high enough to trouble her perfect fringe.

"You think Mum’s going to wonder who made the Boss think she’s plagued or something?” When Holly nodded slowly, Sebastian shrugged and rolled out his lower lip. “You were the one who said he'd never realise he loves her until they spend some time apart.”

DO YOU THINK ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS?

Who does your MC need to forgive? Enact it with a symbol.

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KAREN LORD

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #84

Who does your MC most need for forgive? Following a catharsis, make forgiveness possible then enact it with a symbol.

The sensations that had paralysed her body when he turned away came back. Hope was every bit as breathless, speechless and sickening. Jackson was leaning so close she could feel the heat radiating from him. She closed her eyes, blocking out the day, and life that teamed in the streets, and she ignored everything but how being this close made her feel. Aware of how much worse she would feel when he wasn’t there – sheltering her –  Ella kept rigid hold over her body as she willed him to take the final step.  If he touched her it would mean he could forgive her for being stupid and selfish and thoughtless – for not letting others matter. She could only hope. He'd always been so much better at caring – compassion and need.

The fresh sharp scent of him filled her. It made it easier for her to open up and take the risk. “I care,” Ella whispered.

“Right,” said Jackson.

“No, I—”

“Don’t!” said Jackson. “Don’t say Sorry.”

“No?” Ella’s voice sank. “But, I hurt you.”

Jackson ran a finger down the back of her hand. “Ella—”

The finger was joined by another, and another, lines of warmth and friction that pressed until she opened her hand to him.  “You forgive me?” she asked.

 Jackson held her hand. He made them one. He wasn’t smiling. “No.”

 “You don’t Forgive?” asked Ella. Her eyes wide and aching like her heart.

 Jackson shook his head. He pulled her hand up to his chest. “I love you.”

“You do.”

DOES YOUR MC HAVE TROUBLE WITH FORGIVENESS?

What was your MC’s worst mistake?

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GARTH NIX's ADVICE FROM SHARED WORLDS

DONALD MAASS WRITE TIP #83

What was your MC’s worst mistake? What has she never told anyone? Who was wronged? Weigh down your MC with that.

 “I made a mistake,” Ella whispered. “Everyone makes mistakes, Jackson.”

“Right,” said Jackson. “Could I just say you’re particularly good at making them?”

“No, I—”

“You’re pretty impartial,” said Jackson. “You hurt everyone.”

“No,” Ella voice rose. “Maybe other people – I hurt other people. Not you. I didn’t plan to hurt you. It was like a test. I wanted to know what he was like. Tasted like.”

Jackson backed away a pace, his eyes narrowing. “Ella—”

“No  –  but, really, it's always you.” Ella said. Even she could hear how panic ratcheted up the pitch again.  She took a step towards him. Reaching up, she extended her pink-tipped nails towards his heart. "Forgive me?” 

 Jackson held out his hand. He wasn’t smiling, his lips were unusually straight. “No.”

 “Yes,” said Ella, her voice hollow and low. “Because, you…I know you love me.”

“I loved you,” Jackson lowered his hand. “Loved. Past tense.”

Has your MC’s made a big mistake?