tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post5209037744904682811..comments2024-03-11T22:54:06.514+00:00Comments on Wordsmithing: HIGH DRAMA BLOGFESTAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-12525923310415115082010-08-12T22:20:09.531+01:002010-08-12T22:20:09.531+01:00Okay I'm showing up here late, but I got sucke...Okay I'm showing up here late, but I got sucked into this scene. And now I'm all worried - did his dad really die? Why did the nurse help them? Jeez, these blogfests can be torment.Margo Berendsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03476308235642890474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-47654104765448401542010-08-10T20:27:14.960+01:002010-08-10T20:27:14.960+01:00WELCOME TO ALL MY NEW FOLOWERS!!!!
Thank you all f...WELCOME TO ALL MY NEW FOLOWERS!!!!<br />Thank you all for the comments on the high drama scene. I love STAYING LOST - one of my jobs for the holdiday is to do an edit and cut 10,000 words. Jon Jacob - Jon - is ten, but due to age rapidly. Vocabulary speaking it is MG<br />This is my mid(holiday)week, twenty minutes internet ration -- I´d be dying if I wasn´t having so much fun in sunny Ibiza!<br />I´ve been catching the bus! Can you imagine? Me and my car are normally umbilically attached and here I´m queueing and catching the local buses. Everything and everyone has a story: they didn´t before, but they do now! ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-82048566189371379152010-08-09T22:58:39.088+01:002010-08-09T22:58:39.088+01:00That was a refreshing entry! I liked the action.That was a refreshing entry! I liked the action.L. Diane Wolfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06425864276166334896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-66913694370903145752010-08-09T14:23:14.672+01:002010-08-09T14:23:14.672+01:00Bullets, helicopters, that's some serious dram...Bullets, helicopters, that's some serious drama. Great job! :)kahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10789825860272178765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-15381791474027669872010-08-08T16:10:52.194+01:002010-08-08T16:10:52.194+01:00loved this! Really enjoyed the action. also i love...loved this! Really enjoyed the action. also i loved the last line!Sarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-22874534595597950792010-08-08T15:36:40.257+01:002010-08-08T15:36:40.257+01:00This was great. I agree with Summer above--I loved...This was great. I agree with Summer above--I loved the line: "There was a luggage space and he, apparently, was the luggage." Thanks!<br /><br />On a side note, I really like the sound of Near Edgeware--It looks like my kind of story. :Dj.leigh.baileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12086576155269323425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-46442761840863427582010-08-08T10:12:05.652+01:002010-08-08T10:12:05.652+01:00High drama, indeed. Thanks for posting this. Oh, a...High drama, indeed. Thanks for posting this. Oh, and I loved the last sentence.<br /><br />ShardeSharde(Shar-day)https://www.blogger.com/profile/15745932159705284821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-78774135969393337712010-08-08T08:25:32.971+01:002010-08-08T08:25:32.971+01:00I'm with Portia; I had the movie running in th...I'm with Portia; I had the movie running in the background also. I could see your characters and the setting vividly. The action was paced well. There is a lot of storyline woven into the dialogue and action, but it isn't overwhelming the scene. <br /><br />The focus remained on the race to safety. Its hard to combine action and backstory effectively. Great job here. I know enough to keep up, but no so much I miss the action. <br /><br />Good work.<br /><br />.......dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-54722085862240289412010-08-08T06:19:32.513+01:002010-08-08T06:19:32.513+01:00Action is definitely hard to write, and you nailed...Action is definitely hard to write, and you nailed the heart-pumpingness of it. AND I'm very curious about this inner daemon. Also, is it just me or does this read more like YA than MG? I'm definitely not an expert in either.Angela McCallisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10610798614001745001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-7759736197131568842010-08-08T01:42:01.917+01:002010-08-08T01:42:01.917+01:00Wow, this was grip-your-seat action! I felt as if ...Wow, this was grip-your-seat action! I felt as if I were watching a movie as I read this--so vivid. Well done!<br /><br />—PortiaPortiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-52250322655137206432010-08-07T19:57:46.869+01:002010-08-07T19:57:46.869+01:00Action is so difficult to write- well done! Loved ...Action is so difficult to write- well done! Loved the imagery here...<br /><br />"Plaster fell as dusty snow while they ran back up."<br /><br />A very vivid picture! Thank you for posting this to the blogfest, and for your comment on my entry too!<br /><br />~bruFebruary Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01078037856070486022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-19228317209711601012010-08-07T19:31:45.075+01:002010-08-07T19:31:45.075+01:00I love chick action and POV slips... Join the club...I love chick action and POV slips... Join the club. I know they should be watched but they kinda make the reader feel/see a scene better when through a couple well placed and written POV's.<br /><br />Cool bit of action!Nicole Murrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09605448429334684845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-86131376897432229752010-08-07T19:31:39.583+01:002010-08-07T19:31:39.583+01:00Hi, Elaine. ;-)
I love MG & YA adventures; th...Hi, Elaine. ;-)<br /><br />I love MG & YA adventures; this had excellent action and tension. I noticed a couple of POV slips as well--easy to do, especially if you've been writing another WIP in present tense. I have to watch myself all the time. The "sent wood chips flying," however, isn't one of them. That's in the correct tense.<br /><br />Good work!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-65692941878210815232010-08-07T19:18:49.779+01:002010-08-07T19:18:49.779+01:00This scene must have been a blast to write. I cer...This scene must have been a blast to write. I certainly enjoyed reading it! Great pacing, lots of action -- it has it all. The omniscient POV is my only hesitation, as I generally feel more connected to all the characters when I only "experience" the story through the filter of one POV. But as DL mentioned, many authors (Stieg Larsson) pull it off with success.<br /><br />Best of luck with this awesome project!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01899768909313326172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-63651220985094473082010-08-07T18:52:19.070+01:002010-08-07T18:52:19.070+01:00Nice! I like the pace and the action! Good job :)Nice! I like the pace and the action! Good job :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-54271560665929161102010-08-07T18:33:18.009+01:002010-08-07T18:33:18.009+01:00--Jon thought his breakfast would be joining the l...--Jon thought his breakfast would be joining the litter on the floor.-- Great line. Thanks for sharing, it was fun to read.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09687047513163296827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-90438132727677147402010-08-07T18:22:11.935+01:002010-08-07T18:22:11.935+01:00...nicely done, and don't worry, I just caught......nicely done, and don't worry, I just caught wind of the event myself:)Elliot Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06319271528871804399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-85681573881674520722010-08-07T18:14:03.093+01:002010-08-07T18:14:03.093+01:00Great sequence! I find action hard, but you pulled...Great sequence! I find action hard, but you pulled it off nicely! Is John a child?Will Burkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-56146952852942820942010-08-07T18:00:10.986+01:002010-08-07T18:00:10.986+01:00well done! "There was a luggage space and he,...well done! "There was a luggage space and he, apparently, was the luggage. " my favorite line! thanks for posting.Summer Rosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08122694893668693244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-71241104209496870172010-08-07T17:58:00.293+01:002010-08-07T17:58:00.293+01:00High drama.
Very well done.High drama.<br /><br />Very well done.Charles Forgueshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699237849644235916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-79593302302561648712010-08-07T16:50:46.403+01:002010-08-07T16:50:46.403+01:00Very tense and visual! Great scene choice, Elaine...Very tense and visual! Great scene choice, Elaine! :-)Shannon O'Donnellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17299313309059235876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-9688828182663013552010-08-07T16:31:32.794+01:002010-08-07T16:31:32.794+01:00High drama indeed - well done! This was a very exc...High drama indeed - well done! This was a very exciting scene.Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-11778025477346164642010-08-07T16:20:01.334+01:002010-08-07T16:20:01.334+01:00This was great fun to read and the action really p...This was great fun to read and the action really pulled me in. Like DL, I also found some POV slips. You might consider taking a look through also for telling cues, such as "sent wood chips flying at him." Either way, a worthy read of high drama!<br /><br />Thanks for sharing.Justin W. Parentehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05951018201906897315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-3007037370709243112010-08-07T15:58:55.330+01:002010-08-07T15:58:55.330+01:00I love me some action! Very nicely done. I detec...I love me some action! Very nicely done. I detected a couple POV shifts, but after reading <i>The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo</i> where its prevalent, who can be picky.<br /><br />Sorry about making more flight a little more tense today. *Sheepish grin* Thank you for taking part in my blogfest.DL Hammonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02007260062331783715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673700697394236559.post-78648871656070386732010-08-07T11:49:43.565+01:002010-08-07T11:49:43.565+01:00Hi,
Real action heroine stuff here.
Great read, ...Hi,<br /><br />Real action heroine stuff here.<br /><br />Great read, and would love to be able to read on.<br /><br />best<br />FFrancine Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02326542867876257042noreply@blogger.com