Wordsmithing

UNLIKEABLE?

2012-02-16T13:09:00.004Z

OK, it's official, I'm boring. I've done very little except re-write THE HIGH ROAD, recently.

Sir has had little to say this week as we are on Half Term holiday. :D

In 1st Person, I'm finding I need to make each character even more distinctly individual.

To help with the process, I went through the manuscript and changed the colour of each chapter to match the POV. It is helping me keep my new 1st person narrative voices distinctive.

THE HIGH ROAD follows Fion's struggle to be morally strong and protect the boy who saved her life. Implicit is Ethan's journey from self-absorption to a understanding of why she didn't betray him in a heart beat.

THE OTHER

CHAPTER 2

I SEE YOU

Creeping along the dimly-lit corridor, my bare feet made less noise than the open-backed hospital gown. I resented the small and slight body: agility was no replacement for physical presence. At least, this size disguised my strength. That would give me an advantage, if it came to a fight.

The window in the corridor reflected back my image. I watched as my lip curled back and the line of my nose creased. From the full brows, straight nose, high cheekbones, to the square end of my chin, I’d been designed to impress. Engineered after studying images collected in early missions, I needed the graze on my cheek and the bruise on my jaw. This face and small physique might be useful if I needed to persuade people to help me but my stomach churned at the thought that their help would be offered because they felt sorry for me. I was underdeveloped. Most people would think twice before hitting me. That probably would not include other boys of this… my age. Other boys would probably hate me. I’d been active only one day and already groups of girls collected outside my hospital ward. Their gathering was easier to ignore than their giggling.

The Intensive Care Unit, on the top floor of the hospital, was divided into eight separate rooms. Everywhere, I could hear whispering and slow beeping. The door handle rattled, I froze and held my breath. It wouldn’t make me invisible but it made me feel better about being caught. Light steps. Soft soled shoes. Nurse. I activated the systems producing powerful pheromones.

“Ethan? You are not supposed to be out of bed. Let alone up here.”

Peering from under my long, dark fringe of hair, I found useful information on her name tag, her smile and the steady beat of her heart. Flicking back the hair, I looked directly at her. I observed the pupils dilate as her brain flooded with odourless scents I released from glands in the skin. “Tell me about the girl.”

Dazed. Face relaxed and eyes vacant, the nurse kept her hand on my shoulder as she walked me to the window of the last ICU room.

I considered removing her hand, but her temperature acted as an additional source of information. “Nurse Robertson, who is she?”

“No one knows, for sure, for we found nothing useful. No papers to identify the other people in the van.”

“Has she said anything?”

“Not a thing.” She said. But she frowned. Her pupils became responsive to the light from the window.

Time was limited, I increased the potency levels. “Please? What is her condition? Has there been a change?”

Eyes wide, her voice strained but she answered. “There’s been no change since the ambulance brought you both in.”

“Will she come around?”

When a dribble of saliva made its way down the nurse’s chin, I reduced the potency of the pheromones. I had over estimated the amount of persuasion it would take to encourage her to tell me what I needed to hear. I waited for her to be able to focus on more than the sensations.

Donna Hole has kindly offered to read and offer thoughts. I'm going to need Hermionie's time turner if I'm going to get this ready in time!

DOES IT MATTER IF THE CHARACTER YOU INTRODUCE IS BASICALLY UNLIKEABLE?

SIR SAYS - THIRD PERSON? REALLY?

2012-02-13T18:48:00.002Z

Image from Scotland.org

I'm posting while the dinner is in the oven - on a timer ;)

Between visits to Mum who is recovering from her 14 day stay in hospital with heart problems and my Babe writing her car off on a motorway (she and all other road users walked - or drove - on unscathed) I've been a little too busy to blog. Soz ;)

Welcome! Some new followers arrived while I was having my haitus - I'm suffering with guilt to top off my regular feelings of anxiety ;)

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day - it is also our wedding anniversary. See that piece of forward planning? I like to think of it as building success into the process: How often do you think my other half has forgotten our wedding anniversary? See? He is a natural-made romantic ;)

Sir says:

Third person limited is limiting.

Why did you think it was best form for this novel? The one you're writing using two contrasting POV?

Have you considered re-writing the novel in 1st Person?

AAARRGH!!! I need this ready to enter in the KELPIES COMPETITION by 29th February.

THE HIGH ROAD

CHAPTER 1

BEFORE

When the road skirting the edge of the loch twisted up the side of the mountain, I leaned and slid around every turn. I swung my legs over the rail that kept my mattress on the shelf in the top of the van. Hysterical, I couldn't stop laughing. Maybe it wasn’t that funny but we were nearly there and sliding around on my bunk bed seemed like the funniest thing I’d found to do in ages.

“Fion!” Mum turned in her seat. She pushed at the cardboard box of cooking utensils. They’d skidded around too.

Great-Grandpa was still alive. That was stunning. Our family was small. We were three and that seemed plenty to me. The newspaper photograph told us we were three with an ancient number four. Duck – my Dad – had driven us up the world following the overland route. We’d travelled through India, then turned east and went through China before we drove the total length of Europe. Slowly. Travelling in a van filled with half of everything we owned, the journey was never going to be fast. During our weeks of travelling, I found the world was enormous, and all the same: endless days of nature and groups of people huddled together.

Every minute brought us closer.

Duck concentrated on the road and the idiot in the sports car who kept trying to overtake. According to the Homecoming Plan, Mum was down to drive most evenings. Duck wanted to drive the final stretch – the last few miles from Dunblane to the house his Grandpa had grown-up in. We’d no idea how the old man was going to react. We were going there to find out.

We were almost there.

I'm working to a deadline. Work!

And missing my Bloggy friends and Twitter. WORK!

Gone already.

ARE YOU WORKING HARD TO MEET YOUR DEADLINES?

THE HIGH ROAD NEEDS A BETA

2012-02-07T15:06:00.009Z

I've been re-writing the middle of my MG novel - THE HIGH ROAD - adding in the missing Second Plot Point.

For the structure of the story to flow smoothly from Fion/Thursday to Ethan, the chapters need to alternate. I missed a trick in Chapter 10 ;) While Ethan is in school his guilt could be ratcheted tighter: all I need, apart from the whole chapter are a few small details and spot of hair dye.

I am entering THE HIGH ROAD for the KELPIES PRIZE - and I've only got another 10 days to get the manuscript polished up, printed and posted. Aargh!

THE HIGH ROAD

CHAPTER 1

BEFORE

In the top of the van that had been home for months, Fion hooked her legs over the bunk bed’s safety rail. Laughing, she leaned and slid when they went around every turn in the road.

“Fion!” Mum turned in her seat. She pushed at the cardboard box of cooking utensils. They'd skidded around too.

The road that slipped around the edge of the loch had been climbing a slow and twisty route up the side of the mountain. Dad drove the final stretch, concentrating on the road and the idiot in the sports car who kept trying to overtake.

Around the next bend on the steep hill, suddenly, everything changed. A little further up the road, before the next ridge, a smouldering petrol tanker lay like a victim across the road. The mountain towered, a wall of rock on one side. Down a steep drop and through the trees, the moonlit water was like a thick silver slick. There was nowhere they could go. “We’re going to crash.”

Mum gasped, “Break, Duck! Break now!”

“Daddy?” Fion pushed herself forward, ready to drop to the floor.

“No. Fion, don’t move!” Looking back, his control slipped. The van veered and wobbled.

“Let me.” Her Mum reached over, put her hand beside his on the steering wheel.

Dad nodded. “Brace yourself, Fi.” He dipped his head so he could see her in his rear-view mirror. “Keep your head down!”

With the cold wall digging into her back, Fion pressed her forehead against her knees. He didn’t say I love you. Good. He doesn’t think we’re going to die. She crossed her fingers and wished.

I have written a Prologue but I want it to come after Chapter 1 - What do you think?

In the interests of national security, the Scottish Government requests the support of MI 8, and the Special-ops: Extra-Terrestrial division, in dealing with this security threat. Please see the report attached below.

Classified report CE3/2012-23/15 –18.

We can confirm there has been an increase in the number of UFO sightings. Images recorded by members of the public; the radar data collected by the All Scotland Aviation Authority and the electro-magnetic evidence provided by the RAF have been studied. Our analysis confirms the sightings show UFOs of two different types.

AMBER ALERT: Possible UFO contact – Unidentified Flying Object

Last Friday, a mushroom shaped craft made several passes over Glen Shiel and the Kintail mountains. Experts confirmed the height and trajectory changed as it moved inland. It is believed the craft was preparing to land. To confirm this, we have requested additional information from the observatories in The Trossachs National Park area.

AMBER ALERT: Possible BIO contact

Our tests have shown that elements unknown on this planet were identified amongst the metals collected at Loch Lubnaig.

Initial reports suggested that only three motor vehicles crashed on the road above the loch. Doctors treating the survivor, a female, approximately twelve years-old, have raised concerns about her internal structure. She has a total reversal of her organs including the heart. This condition would be an extremely rare birth defect.

We believe it is unlikely this occurred naturally and could be the result of bio-engineering by an extra-terrestrial life form.

Although more scientific study may be necessary to confirm our suspicions, this could be our first opportunity to contain, observe and examine a Being of Indeterminate Origin.

The probability that these events are linked is great. The timing of the UFO’s flight path and the crash were almost identical.

Dr August Black

Senior Scientist

Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon Unit (UAPU)

REPLY:

MI 8

Millbank House

LONDON

ACTIVATION STATUS CONFIRMED

Special Services branch, S:ET, has been deployed.

If you have time to read the novel, I would love to hear some thoughts.

SIR SAYS - EMOTIONS ARE NEVER CLICHED

2012-02-02T11:16:00.001Z

SOURCE: Psych-your-mind Blogspot

My second piece of homework didn't get done.

Considering a range of suitable excuses, I was thinking of leading with "the monster ate it." He looked like one of these faces ;)

My excuse, it wasn't exactly true.

I was thinking about this quote from Dr Seuss:

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

Reality got in the way of writing the CW short story... Reality got in the way of polishing up the short story I've already written in my notebook. The reality of writing, finishing a final and significant re-write, polishing up the query letter and sending off 4 submissions!

Just to prove I haven't been slacking, I sent my submission to Sir!

I'm writing and loving it.

If the purpose of the Creative Writing course was to remind me that I love writing it's doing a brilliant job.

SIR SAYS:

identify and eliminate emotions words
describe emotions using specific and "concrete" terms
avoid clichés - look for an original (and specific to your character and the setting of your novel) way to describe an emotion
describe all aspects of the physical sensations of emotions

SIR SAYS NEVER USE:

her heart melted
she felt like breaking down when she read her results
she felt like her hear was being torn from her chest

IN A BRAINY AND INTELLECTUAL MOMENT, SIR SAYS:

Emotion words are abstract nouns - they are not solid and they cannot be seen.
There are narrow definitions for each emotion but they have broad meanings and associations.
To describe an emotion you need to tap into what the emotion means to you and to your MC.

Garrick knew he'd been imprisoned in the cellar for almost a month but as his sleep pattern was irregular and he was often hungry he hadn't been able to keep track of the exact number of days. His fingers were bleeding again, and he hadn't found a brick anywhere around the barred window that he could prise out of line. He leaned his head against the wall and waited until the throbbing in his fingertips subsided so he could start to push around the bricks again.

PROFOUND THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

PEOPLE, AND CHARACTERS TOO, OFTEN USE ONE EMOTION TO MASK ANOTHER - WRITERS NEED TO LET THE HIDDEN EMOTION BLEED THROUGH

OUT WITH THE EXPECTATION MARK

2012-01-31T19:33:00.001Z

SOURCE: The Oatmeal

Today, I gave up the semicolon. I went through my manuscript systematically removing the tadpoles crowned with balls.

This resolution lasted a lot less time than my New Year's ones did. The trouble is: I LOVE SEMICOLONS <3

I cling to my copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, by Lynne Truss, the way the religious cleave to their holy books or, more accurately, the way my daughter handles her ASOS catalogue ;)

Semicolons: I know George Orwell didn't need them and that Virginia Woolfe was addicted but it is this quote in The Medusa and the Snail, by Lewis Thomas, that makes my heart smile:

The semicolon tells you that there is still some question about the preceding full sentence; something needs to be added [...] The period [or full stop] tells you that that is that; if you didn't get all the meaning you wanted or expected, anyway you got all the writer intended to parcel out and now you have to move along. But with the semicolon there you get the pleasant feeling of expectancy; there is more to come; read on; it will get clearer.

The semicolon is the expectation mark ;)

I am reading through my manuscript checking I can't substitute and or but or an ordinary comma in the place of every semicolon. *yawn

If you can't and or but it, and a comma doesn't make enough sense, go-for-your-life and stick your semicolon exactly where you wanted it ;)

Growing up, I loved Marathon chocolate bars; they are called Snickers now.

It was the howling of a lone wolf; it was coming from the edge of the forest.

I'm listening to everything by Camera Obscura, and Glasvegas, that Youtube can play for me; I'm writing my Scottish MG story for the Kelpies Prize/Competition.

ARE YOU PLANNING TO ENTER A WRITING COMPETITION, THIS YEAR?

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - DRAWN tripping over more than cloaks

2012-01-29T13:58:00.002Z

A fabulous photograph by Joseph Devon

This week's 6 has been put together with indecent haste. I've been bouncing backwards and forwards to and from the hospital. So far, the news on my Mum's heart condition has been variable but, all things considered, good. *fingers crossed.

In case you haven't read any of the SIX SENTENCE tasters, this is what DRAWN is all about:

DRAWN

Darrah has been charged with finding and rescuing the Regal's heir. The evidence suggests he was taken by a band of Sarkisians who feed directly from the living. Darrah fights her cultural prejudice and instinctive fears when The Sarkisian Council send Fauld Hale to work alongside her to rescue the boy and maintain the fragile peace between their peoples.

This week I have been struggling to keep my section down to only six sentences. ;)

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY:

Hurrying, she stumbled over his long grey cloak. Even beyond the camp's flickering firelight, Darrah felt hot, small and exposed. The shivers still shook her, blood and bone. “Wait, Hale.”

Hale froze – his back rigid – but he didn’t turn.

"Why didn't you didn't kill him?"

HAVE YOU EVER WORN ANYTHING THAT WENT FROM THE PERFECT THING TO SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN SEEN IN?

SIR SAYS THE 3 WRITES AND 10 WRONGS OF SHORT STORIES

2012-01-26T13:25:00.001Z

I'M SURE ONE OF THESE COULD CREATE HAVOC
IN A NOVEL BASED IN SCOTLAND

Our second piece of homework isn't due in until next week, this is a good thing because it is both thin and short at the moment a long way from fully rounded and complete.

The reasons why I haven't got too far are family based and I need to put some effort into making sure I meet the deadline - not because I have to, or I'd be in detention if the homework was late ;) I just want to keep with the programme.

SIR SAYS WRITE:

A profound and intriging statement to hook the reader
Introduce conflict - internal or external - right at the start
Disclose the emotions the MC is feeling but remember that individuals express their emotions differently

SIR SAYS CREATE CHARACTERS NOT STEREOTYPES:

looks
traits
talents
ambition
secret
weakness
possession in their pocket

PROFOUND THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

ACTIONS SHOW CHARACTER - WHEN CREATING A CHARACTER THEY CAN LOOK, SAY AND PRETEND TO BE ONE WAY BUT, BY WHAT THEY DO, YOU CAN SHOW THE TRUTH OF A CHARACTER.

We discussed the advice provided in the short story guidelines provided by Take A Break magazine:

COMMON PLOTS TO AVOID:

the MC is revelead to be a cat, dog, fox etc
the victim of a rip off tradesman or raging motorist turns out to be the new boss/ emergency dentist / VAT inspector
the police officer (male or female) turns out to be a strippagram/singing messenger
the MC discovers his/her partner has a same sex secret lover
when the evidence point to them playing-away-from-home, the mysterious behaviour of the MC's partner turns out to be because they are organising a secret party etc
the MC who sees ghosts is actually a ghost him/herself
the shifty antiques dealer who thinks they have duped an elderly victim finds out she/he has been manufacturing them and making a fortune
anything about twins
the nervous MC worried about their first day turns out to be the teacher, worried about the wedding service turns out to be the vicar etc
anything to do with bumping off relatives for their inheritance or related to "Wills"

I've been thinking about Scotland recently, two ideas I've been mulling over - for MG novels - are set there. The location is an essential element in the story so I've been skating around tropes and stereotypes.

SHOULD A FANTASY STORY BASED IN SCOTLAND AVOID BAGPIPES, LOCHS AND HAGGIS ON THE HILLSIDE?

Camera Obscura - I LOVE MY JEAN

2012-01-25T11:50:00.001Z

I'll be celebrating Burns' Night, not with Haggis (1,149 calories, you know ;) not with whiskey (I've signed up to100 days without alcohol :) I'm celebrating with family and the words of the poet.

Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve. ~ Robert Burns

After dealing, last week, with the sudden death of my daughter's friend, my Mum's minor heart attack on Monday and her current stay in hospital is a kind of relief. There is joy in having time.

"Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't."~ Robert Burns

Jean

Of a' the airts the wind can blaw,
I dearly like the west,
For there the bonie lassie lives,
The lassie I lo've best:
There's wild woods grow, and rivers row,
And mony a hill between;
But day and night my fancy's flight
Is ever wi' my Jean.

I see her in the dewy flowers,
I see her sweet and fair:
I hear her in the tunefu' birds,
I hear her charm the air:
There's not a bonie flower that springs
By fountain, shaw, or green,
There's not a bonie bird that sings,

But minds me o' my Jean.

I HAVE BEEN WRITING BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO GET DONE. HOW GOOD ARE YOU AT BALANCING COMMITMENTS?

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - DRAWN - almost funny

2012-01-22T13:11:00.003Z

For now, I've put Hale back in his box. I'm concentrating on telling the story from Darrah's POV.

This week's 6 follows on from the one two weeks ago.

In case you haven't read any of the SIX SENTENCE tasters this is what DRAWN is all about:

DRAWN

Darrah has been charged with finding and rescuing the Regal's heir. The evidence suggests he was taken by a band of Sarkisians who feed directly from the living. Darrah fights her cultural prejudice and instinctive fears when The Sarkisian Council send Fauld Hale to work alongside her to rescue the boy and maintain the fragile peace between their peoples.

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY:

Outside the wind still hurried the snow, but Darrah couldn’t summon the energy to do anything but lean against the tree trunk where Hale had lifted her. She noticed her fuzzy lapses in concentration while he dragged smaller branches from the other side of the canopy and swept the powdery dust and brown needles together. He made a great homekeeper. The giggle she tried to hide with her hand turned into uncontrollable laughter. Hale looked at her but then he laid and stacked the branches more quickly. Darrah's stomach hurt and the tears turned cold but she couldn’t stop laughing: that was Hale’s secret, he was too house-proud.

I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day. Looking for an unusual mid-week city break, I almost booked a three day trip to Bratislava (like Pennsylvania, it is a great name ;) .

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING SPECIAL YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO?

SIR SAYS 2 - BE CHALLENGINGLY CREATIVE

2012-01-19T17:40:00.005Z

WRITING CREATIVELY WITH THE V&A
Will it be realistic or surreal and dreamlike?

Will it be set in the real world?

Or will it be a piece of 'speculative fiction': fantasy, sci-fi,

ghost story or supernatural horror?

Whose point of view are you writing it from:

one of the characters
several characters in turn
an impersonal narrator who knows everything?

The first piece of homework, for the Creative Writing course was to produce a complete short story, with well rounded characters. A conversation between two characters, which may or may not be set in a café.

I handed it in but forgot to email a copy too.

This is the start of the first piece of homework I've written for a long while ;)

THE OLD CAFÉ

Rain soaked visitors combined with the carefully controlled temperature until the shopping arcade reached humid sub-tropical. As the smell of hot socks and damp coats rose, the shoppers wilted. After a day of window-shopping and with bags full of guilt, the younger women raced their buggies back to their cars: it was time for the school run and they were determined to be first out of the car park. Kevin destroyed the evidence of his little customers as he wiped the window clean of their sticky fingerprints. Circling his arm, he waved the lot of them good bye.

The security alarm bleeped as soon as Kevin had planted his bum on the seat of the ceramic chair in the smallest office, outback. He hurried from the rear of the shop. Hiking up his trousers, he patted his pockets looking for his sanitising spray. One look at the Velcro shoes and swollen ankles, Kevin figured this visitor wouldn’t be staying long. “Can I help?”

“Yes, please,” the elderly lady said. She glanced around, a little distracted. “Could you tell me where I should sit?”

Wrong again. Kevin hurried forward. He’d been so sure this one would take one look around and head back out. “Right. Seat. Wherever.” Expensive coat, diamond earrings, she’d definitely be offended if he sanitised his hand. But the microbes and the imaginary dirt felt sticky. Sweaty. Kevin put his hands in his pockets and turned the small bottle over and over, out of sight.
The small figure coughed.
With patience and boredom balanced evenly, Kevin started when he nearly stepped on her. She hadn't moved, and that cough hadn't been to clear her throat. He didn't have much experience of dealing with Grannies but even he could spot the moment when waves of bristling unhappiness began to emanate from her. Heat warmed his cheeks. “What?”

THIS WEEK I LEARNED:

about clouds - and they weren't in the sky. It came in useful for saving the plan for the next piece of homework
about the National Association of Writers in Education website - nawe.co.uk
the 6 Tips on How to Win Short Story Competitions - written by Debbie Taylor, at Mslexia
Creative Writing at the Victoria and Albert Museum

SIR SAYS:
To consider the MC's critical flaw and how it influences the story
Remember to give weight to both internal and external conflicts
To use longer length short stories to experiment with non-linear construction
To write in 1st person

There are very few books
published in 2nd person.
I used this novel to help me
experiment with writing in 2nd person.

Homework for weeks 2 and 3 write a short story including three characters and to balance internal and external conflict.

I'm going to write 1st person but I've spent a lot of time wondering how a 2nd person story might work.

The weather forecast that announced black ice was likely in the early hours of the morning wasn't the worst thing you'd ever heard. A sudden drop in temperature after a long spell of rain isn't the worst kind of weather. Dangerous road conditions? You don't have a car, so it doesn't apply to you. Besides, you weren't planning to go out.

SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT? WHAT DO YOU THINK, IS 2ND PERSON GOING TO BE THE NEW PRESENT TENSE?

TUESDAY'S MG TEASER - ALI SPARKES' UNLEASHED

2012-01-17T18:56:00.001Z

If your child lives on a diet of conspiracy and heart-stopping
adventure, this is the book to feed their imagination.
Ali Sparkes' writing has been described as
brilliantly inventive and outstanding.

I love to read around the Tuesday’s Teasers hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading.

If you want to play along:

Grab your current read.
Let the book fall open to a random page.
Share two (2) sentences from that page.

When you select a sentence, try to make sure the Teaser doesn't stray into Spoiler territory.

If you share the title everyone can track the book down, when the section you have posted has drawn them in and has them desperate to read a whole lot more :D

A small boy and a smaller girl ran past the fountain, giggling.They glanced over at Lisa as they went, their pale thin faces dappled with death-light and a smell of ... hum ...yep, that would be cholera.

This started out as the next on my Upper MG TBR pile, but Unleashed: A Life and Death Job, by Ali Sparkes, is proving to be more riveting than food and, for someone whose New Year's healthy eating regime equals very little eating, that is saying a lot.

I NEED TO READ YA OR ADULT NEXT, DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE TIME TRAVEL BOOK?

SIX SENTENCES - DRAWN: INSIDE HALE'S HEAD

2012-01-15T13:18:00.004Z

HALE HAS A POINT OF VIEW? NO. IMAGINE THE RE-WRITE.

Six sentences, from the paranormal side.

I've been writing DRAWN from Darrah's POV. At the earliest stage, I decided this was her story and I was going to write it purely from her perspective. Then this morning, as I woke, I saw what happened during the minutes Hale found her unconscious with hypothermia and had to work to revive her.

DRAWN

Darrah has been charged with finding and rescuing the Regal's heir. The evidence suggests he was taken by a band of Sarkisians who feed directly from the living. Darrah fights her cultural prejudice and instinctive fears when The Sarkisian Council send Fauld Hale to work alongside her to rescue the boy and maintain the fragile peace between their peoples.

This is my life or death SUNDAY 6:

Even with his acute hearing finding her hadn't been easy, her weak heart barely whimpered in the gale. Ice crystals glittered, her skin more grey than blue. Too late. Hale pulled the glove from stiff fingers and uncurled her hand around his cheek. He tried to force a dele with her. His strength seeped outward but, this way, the process was too slow.

I love language, sometimes the perfect word already exists and all I need to do is to hit translate. This time, I owe the perfect word to Norwegian.

to share - a dele

Correct pronounciation? No idea. I'm going with deal.
A deal comes with multi-layered expectations: to share, distribute, administer but with the expectation that there has been a negotiation and sense of compromise. Forcing a deal must come with consequences.
When it comes to commenting, I'm always happy to read one that help me improve my work.

GENRE, LITERARY OR MAINSTREAM FICTION ,AFTER YOUR CURRENT WIP, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO WRITE NEXT?

TEACHER SAYS 1

2012-01-12T19:10:00.001Z

All of us, the part-time, gotta-fit-this-in-somewhere, students were gathering in the entrance hall; shiny, statement colours and new that was us and the building.

Doing my version of waiting patiently, I sat twirling my college identity swipe card on the lanyard.

I've checked the springiness of the fastening since so I don't understand how the card sprang off and shot across the vast, and near silent space.

I was wearing black and white so I didn't mind, I find that red is a great accent colour. ;)

They had me registered for the other course on the other day.

My tutor asked me if I really wanted to be there.

Despite my fantastic start and the fact that I've only been waiting since September I said yes quite quietly.

SIR SAYS:

Describe sensationally ;) using them all

In linear constructs, include staging posts to add the insight no one else would have thought of

Describe emotions - how she feels about the door is more important than what the door looks like.

HAVE YOU MANAGED TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF RECENTLY?

TUESDAY'S TEASER and the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award

2012-01-10T21:17:00.001Z

The planting of Heartwood Forest has begun
For the Were whose home has been
encroached upon in the urban sprawl, eventually
there will be more space to run free.

I’m reading two books, it’s a split personality thing ;)

Tuesday’s Teaser asks you to:

Grab your current read.
Let the book fall open to a random page.
Share two (2) sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.

If you decide to play along, it's a good idea to share the book’s title so everyone can find it in the nearest book shop, somewhere that gets a name check later on or down at the local library, when the section you have posted has drawn them in and has them desperate to read a whole lot more :D

BOOK 1

I loved the hook that reads:

Sometimes love happens when you least expect it.

The opening contains the cringing moment when a person declares undying love to a best friend only to see their eyes widen in shock - and not just before puckering up for a kiss. This is followed by public humiliation and finally the hot kind of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. And all that's before Chapter 2.

pg 2 line 10

“But we’re mates, Rom…”

BOOK 2

The single line which could be the sub-heading is: The price of glory

That’s such a layered sentence. I’m anticipating that the price of glory will not be all-things-full-of-joy.

Chapter 1 starts with the frail, faithful old advisor painting us a portrait of the unlovable Lord whom he obviously adores. It ends with a desperate act that should have been a murder and the ultimate sacrifice but it doesn’t pan out that way.

pg 2 line 10:

King of a smoking rock in the great salt sea, yet a king nonetheless.

Book 1 - It Started with a Kiss by Miranda Dickinson

Book 2 – A CLASH OF KINGS by George R.R. Martin

I’m entering the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, because this is a competition that's FREE and because I read about it on Erica and Christy's Blog. ;)

Ages ago, I decided to write more bite and earlier revelations into EGWARE. The process has been feeling more like recycling that a revision.

It’s odd how much more manipulation there is when Jess is an Education Student on her first Teaching Practice in the school where Ric is a Senior starting his final year.

If you decide you want to enter this competition the submissions start on 23^rd January.

You need your whole package ready to go at the same time:

a 300-word pitch with a matching description
a 3,000-5,000 word excerpt
and the fully completed manuscript

I think the fact that the competition winner is announced on my birthday is potentially significant ;)

ARE YOU READING SOMETHING THAT IS KEEPING YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT?

A DEATH OR SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR MY SUNDAY 6

2012-01-08T14:35:00.003Z

red 6 by holeymoon on flickr

When I'm not writing MG I slide over to the paranormal side.

DRAWN

Darrah has been charged with finding and rescuing the Regal's heir. The evidence suggests he was taken by a band of Sarkisians who feed directly from the living. Darrah fights her cultural prejudice and instinctive fears when The Sarkisian Council send Fauld Hale to work alongside her to rescue the boy and maintain the fragile peace between their peoples.

Darrah doesn't trust Hale, he has too many secrets and too much power. It's almost as if he knows what she is thinking... or worse.

This is my life or death SUNDAY 6:

Inside the brilliant golden glow that emanated from the Sarkisian, Darrah was consumed by pain that burned from her heart to her fingertips and toes. Clenched fists dug into her back as, with his arms wrapped around her, Hale held her close. She could also feel Hale's rising need and that reaction from her frosty companion confused her. She stared into his dark eyes. Once the connection was made, it was the determination she saw there that held her. "What do you want?"

Comments are always welcome :)

Every lunchtime I spend a twenty minutes Writing Recklessly. I'm using the prompts set by Sally Quiller from her 100k in 100 days Challenge. I'm enjoying writing something different everyday.

WHAT ARE YOU ENJOYING ABOUT WRITING?

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

2012-01-05T21:49:00.004Z

FILLING IN THE BLANKS
Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something,
loves something and has lost something.
H. Jackson Brown Jr

100k IN 100 DAYS

THESE ARE OPENINGS ONLY - I'M NOT ABOUT TORTURE BY TORMENT ;)

04/01/12 PROMPT 5

It's unbelievably hard but I love you anyway by Boyzone (a song that is sooo not me:) I multiplied by Unfaithful by Rihanna (a song that is much closer to my musical homeland;) It's a two song literary mash-up ;)

You dress to amaze, impress and so much more. You do it for you, I get that - but it feels like you do it for me too (that's foolish, I know.) When we are walking out there my pride expands until it fills my world - until you fill my world.
Why's it then when you smooth the fabric - when you check the way it clings - I end up thinking the things you wear aren't for either of us? Is the someone inside you (the part of you you never share with me) never happy? Is it insecurity?

05/01/12 PROMPT 1

character: holiday maker
setting: the tropics
conflict: can't find a child

"He can't have gone far. Calm down."
"Calm down?" I screech as I turn around. The market place is nearly empty and I can't see Sonny anywhere. There are so many roads. I turn around again. My hands are useful. I shade my eyes so I can see, and twist my fringe around my fingers until my head hurts and I feel less sick. In one direction the low sun blinds me and I panic again.
"Anna, stop turning!" Ben says, "I can't think."
I hold my breath and meet his dark eyes. There's no hope only black depths and wide white edges under his creased forehead. "Oh, God! You ARE worried."

AS FOR THE WIP I'VE WRITTEN 4,00 WORDS IN 5 DAYS.

While expanding my journal, I've rediscovered the adjective slapping (slappin') - meaning big/good/fast. I've got it written next to mint (meaning way-badly good) which my Minnow uses alarmingly-often;)

HAVE YOU GOT A FAVOURITE NEW WORD?

JUST WRITE

2012-01-03T17:01:00.000Z

WELCOME TO MY WORLD :D
Maass Prompts, My Reckless Journal and the WIP

When Sally Quiller set a challenge she made it big: 100K in 100 days. Over on her blog, Quiller's Place -View From The Shed she outlined her vision. It didn't matter what you wrote but it did matter that you wrote regularly.

2012 is different

This is day three, I have added 2, 700 words to my wip.

Every morning, I get a text full of inspirational prompts.

As one of my challenges for 2012 is to write regularly and recklessly, every day ;) I have created new ideas or written freely in response to one of the writing prompts.

I have made my lunch time the time to write wild.

Today, I spent ten minutes writing in response to Prompt 3.

3
The new buds push the old
leaves from the bough.
We drop our youth behind us
like a boy
Throwing away his toffee-wrappers.
We never see the flower,
But only the fruit in the flower;
never the fruit,
But only the rot in the fruit.
We look for marriage bed
In the baby's cradle,
we look for
the grave in the bed:
not living,
But rising dead.
(From Rising Five by Norman Nicholson)

New blood.
No Last in, First out: blow.
I am fresh.
Now is here.

Let youth slide in and all the way by
they were days of insecurity dressed in spots.
I won't bring that boy with me.
What would I do with him, now I'm the man?

I tear through packages to find brief pleasures but it ain't toffee wrappers I throw behind me.
No trip-trap tapping here, I'm a dull fun fan.
What I take is tasty.
Consumption is the juice that fuels but I ain't going to pay.

I don't need relationship rot: that has freshness like irradiated preservatives and a paint on shine.
But, I see marriage: different needs together playing the genetic lottery. When I'm ringing, I'll hold what's mine and reach for more. I want Little Me with reassurances, I won't wait to look for my shade in his eye or watch his nose as he grows. What is this living thing?

Living is fighting.
Slow or hard, life is fighting death.

IS 2012 SHAPING UP TO BE ANY DIFFERENT?

Half by accident, I am keeping a writing journal.
Some entries are words, some are phrases or complete sentence but others are longer responses to Quiller's writing prompts.

Tomorrow, I start my writing course.

I'm having fun and drinking water - but they are from a different set of resolutions ;)

HOW DO YOU HOPE 2012 WILL BE DIFFERENT?

FOUR RULES AND WRITING RESOLUTIONS

2012-01-01T12:52:00.000Z

The book is called Opportunity
and its first chapter is New Year's Day.
~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Can you hear your resolutions cracking?

I’m not a huge fan of making New Year’s resolutions but this is because I’m such an expert at breaking them.

This is going to be a different kind of year, one where I keep my resolutions.

Too many times, I've painted ambitious sweeping strokes of resolutions that were, theoretically, great. Wild and abstract, they were too easy to ignore.

My great plan, the one that should ensure I keep this year's resolutions, is to acknowledge the ones I have made. Share. I’m going to add accountability.

I have personal goals which I've made smart:

specific
measurable
attainable
relevant
time specific

Then I made writing goals.

THE WRITING RESOLUTIONS (hosted by the Four Rules of Number ;)

+ ADD NEW KNOWLEDGE AND A NEW CIRCLE OF WRITERS INTO MY LIFE

Enrol and take a writing class and take an open mind and a learning attitude along with me

- TAKE OUT SPECIFIC PROCRASTINATION

Normally, I start each writing session by reading and commenting my way through interesting blogs and articles. From now on, I’m going to write first. I will reward myself with timed breaks where I'll get to enjoy and to be inspired by all the amazing sites I read and the Blogs I follow.

x MULTIPLY = RAISING THE WORD COUNT

Have you seen Sally Quiller’s 100K in 100 days? She has created an inspiring challenge to keep you busy and laying down enough words to build a novel. I’m aiming to keep pace, for MG that would be two books outlined and drafted in full.

÷ SHARE THE INSIGHTS I DISCOVER ON MY COURSE

The Intermediate level course in Creative Writing I have enrolled in is a very exciting opportunity. Part-time, this course will fit in well with the rest of my commitments. From now on, Thursday’s Posts will be TEACHER SAYS ;)

We will open the book. It's pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

So say we all ;)

HOW IS YOUR NEW FIRST CHAPTER GOING?

LIKE 1ST PERSON

2011-12-29T13:52:00.004Z

I read a lot of MG and YA fiction. I research what agents and editors say about the submissions they receive and the ones they are looking for.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about the merits, and the difficulties of writing in 1^st person.

When it comes to 1^st person narratives, all advice says there needs to be a strong voice.

A great voice needs to be:

· unique to the character

· unique in the genre

· distinct in a way it compliments the story.

During the last couple of days, when I wasn’t supposed to be writing, I have discovered things I have been aware of but never really understood:

That the immediacy of a scene and the intensity of the protagonist's situation is much more intense in 1^st person.

That writing 1^st person is a great way to catch the readers attention and to retain it.

In preparation for starting my writing course, and because I should be writing my current wip;) I decided to experiment with the affects of writing in 1st person.

My MG novel, STAYING LOST, was originally written in 3rd person with alternating limited perspectives.

I decided, at that time, that this was necessary because of the demands of the story. Lots of action took place when Jon wasn’t present so I didn’t want to be limited to a single person’s awareness.

Even the title was seen from Jon's bodyguard, Nerysa's POV.

Then it occurred to me that, from Jon’s perspective, the fact that he doesn’t know what is going on is a major theme in the story.

Everything that happens beyond Jon’s life is either backstory – which only I need to know – or else it is incidental and it detracts from the way Jon experiences his new life.

What I have learned from this experiment is that everyone has to select the point of view that evokes the greatest range of emotional response and the greatest degree of engagement from the reader.

Even when you think you have finished with a project it might be worth experimenting with a section in more than one POV. I was surprised by the results.

JJ ASHTON, NO RANSOM REQUIRED

CHAPTER 1

WHY RUN?

It was the final rugby match of the season and the crowd was doing a great job of putting me off my game. First they’d been shouting and dancing. Then, when I’d got used to that, they began chanting my name: Ashton, Ashton.

It wouldn’t be the end of my life if I missed my shot. I glanced across at the crowd. Suddenly, I less sure of my survival. They were doing something like a zombie shuffle, clawing at their scarves and creeping up to the edge of the line: Ashton! Ashton!

My name sounded more like a threat than encouragement. No problem. Four hundred to one, and I’d only had to kick to convert the try.

“Jon? What’s up?”

I looked back to Toby.

In his red and black and muddy kit, he looked unreasonably happy. He imitated me, running on the spot he pretended to take the kick, “We don’t have all day.”

“Right, I’ll get a jog on and just knock it over?”

“You take your time,” Toby said. He grinned. “Get it right. It’s on your head; it's not like anyone is going to be blaming us, if you miss.”
I hoped I wasn't about to lose my head but the touchline was packed with Tudors. That only happens at Tudor School, these days. Dressed in doublets and capes, it looked like every Tudorian for the last four hundred years had made it to the game. Everyone who mattered was there, except my Dad.

For comparison, this is the original opening of the MG novel.

STAYING LOST

CHAPTER 1

WHY RUN WHEN YOU CAN RIDE?

Jon ran as if his life depended on it, but his feet slid dangerously in the mud. He tightened his fingers, gripped harder. Squinting into the sun, sweat dripped into his eyes, but he did not dare rub it away. There were muffled sounds he strained to understand, but the roaring, on every side, made that impossible. He kept his eyes open, and ran straight and fast. There was no one who could help him now.

A nail, and then a finger, scraped and slid across his arm.

No! He wouldn’t let it happen. He raised his knees higher, and slammed his feet down hard. Jon grunted, in his head it was a laugh. Nothing would stop him, this time. He ground his teeth together, sucking air through gaps like straws. He swerved right, then dipped and side-stepped left. He grinned, when he heard a curse as a body hit the floor behind him. He measured the distance between him and the white posts, and his legs didn’t feel so heavy any more. Relief and lack of oxygen made his head spin. Altering his approach, Jon passed directly under the post. When he wanted to throw himself into the mud, he settled for placing the ball and spinning. He faced the players who were stampeding towards the line, only those wearing red were grinning.

Celebrations could come later. The score was tied. Only minutes remained. They needed the points from the conversion kick. Jon focussed on the centre of the pitch, and the kick. He didn’t look at the crowd, still jumping around on the sidelines. Either his Dad was there, or he wasn’t. Jon hoped, but he didn’t look across to check. Disappointment would really ruin his aim. The real sadness bubbled, until he squashed it back. It was his mother who couldn’t be there on the touch line.

The crowds who gathered see Tudor triumph over their greatest rivals, Stanmore College, and win the Schools’ Rugby League, froze. Moments before, they had been shouting and dancing. Now, like zombies, they shuffled forward drawn towards the spot where Jon stood. Hands clawed at the scarves whipping around their faces.

The feedback I got from the original opening was that they felt cheated: it was deceitful to suggest Jon's life was endangered and to not have him in real and immediate danger. I thought the phrase "as if his life depended on it" had that covered. However...

There is no mistaking what is happening in the 1st person opening. I think there's still too much back story.

Does 1st person draw the reader into the story more quickly?

FANTASY FROM AGING KNOWLEDGE AND A NEW PERSPECTIVE - Guy Laramee

2011-12-27T11:34:00.001Z

In the Bank Holiday lull, before shopping and the next mincepie, I found myself (again) inspired by art.

Enter into the world created by Guy Laramee.

Multi-talented, this artist can sing, sculpt, paint and write.

He excavates encyclopaedias that are dense with aging knowledge and old perspectives, until he reveals the fantastic.

His most famous carved landscapes and structures are Biblios and The Great Wall.

The old books could have been landfill or pulp, Guy Laramee has taken old knowledge and made it timeless. Every image is fiction made by imagination, art and science: science-fiction :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD HAPPEN TO OLD BOOKS?

Of course, first I'd like to make some old books of my own ;)

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - DRAWN - so cold life is brittle

2011-12-25T18:35:00.005Z

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

I'm late posting my SIX FOR SUNDAY, can't imagine what slowed me down.

When I'm not writing MG I slide over to the dark side of paranormal where too many people are out for what they can get and they take it indiscriminately.

DRAWN

Darrah is The Arm of Elthor's Corp - this gives her responsibility for the men she selects to train and to lead. Her secret mission is to find the Regal's heir who has been taken. The evidence suggests that The Sarkisians - who, with their unusual powers and their need to feed directly from the living, are hated and feared - are responsible. Darrah, who has personal reasons to want all that race to husk and crumble is finding it hard deal with her reactions to Hale who has been sent to find out who, or what, is trying to destroy the fragile peace between their peoples.

Darrah doesn't trust Hale, he has too many secrets and way too much power.

This is my snowy SUNDAY 6:

Hood pulled forward and with her head down, Darrah stumbled through the blizzard until she believed she’d put a safe distance between them. When all she could hear was the screaming wind and heavy falling snow, Darrah threw herself down and crawled under the low skirting branches of a tall pine tree. The bitter cold followed her. At first it misted the air with her breath. Tired and aching, Darrah hugged her arms around her knees. Warm, at last, she rested her cheek on the clumps of snow that still crisped the surface of her clothes and closed her eyes.

All comments are always welcome :)

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday and that there is peace and joy in your life, now and during the new year too.

Exclusive DOCTOR WHO 2011 Xmas Special Trailer

2011-12-20T14:27:00.001Z

I’m on a countdown to Christmas, possibly for all the wrong reasons.

First, I love to sing carols in a venue with serious height and amazing acoustics.

Second, I love being the one in charge of washing up pots and drinking bubbly while the household’s version of Master Chef demands magic from raw ingredients.

Third, I can’t wait for the Dr Who Christmas Special to air.

Dr Who on Christmas Day?

Magic.

WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU IN SCHOOL, THESE DAYS?

Time Lord wisdom #1: Panthers are terrifying.

Time Lord wisdom #2: There’s no such thing as foretelling.

Time Lord wisdom #3: Doors are irresistible.

Inside info says to watch out for “Matt Smith and a smile that will smash your heart to pieces.”

APART FROM THE SERIOUS, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS CHRISTMAS?

SPACE AND TIME FOR REVISIONS

2011-12-18T12:57:00.005Z

HELP!! I would appreciate a few thoughts at the second draft stage.

I've nearly completed the manuscript for MORTIMER CHILTON AND THE COLLECTIVE so it is time to start thinking Query and Submission.

This is the pitch and the first 250 words of the manuscript so any thoughts, at this early stage, would be HUGE and HUG-WORTHY ;)

Mortimer’s gaming identifies him as Psych. With the help of a friend, he escapes being implanted with an external control chip. It seems to be a pointless save when Mortimer finds it impossible to locate the source of power, in his scrambled brain. But when The Collective is invaded Mortimer blasts his Psych-skills from Beginner to something deadly.

# 2 Thanks to Shannon Duffy and Amy L Sonnichsen for their thoughts on the pitch

Playing a gamer challenge identifies Mortimer as some kind of Psychic. With the help of a friend, he avoids being implanted with an external control chip. It seems to be a pointless save when Mortimer can't find or use his powers. When The Collective is invaded, can Mortimer blast his Psych-skills from Beginner basic into something deadly?

I'm still working on this one:

MORTIMER CHILTON AND THE COLLECTIVE

What is the main conflict for Mortimer?
What must he do/sacrifice to resolve it?
What are the consequences if he fails?

MORTIMER CHILTON AND THE COLLECTIVE

CHAPTER 1

BLAST

“What?” Mortimer asked. His heart slipshifted like the ship did when they dropped into standard orbit. “Me? Wha–”

“Mortimer. Pack. Now.” Fast, like she couldn’t catch her breath, his parent said, “I told you to go and get your things together.”

“Why?” Mortimer pulled back his shoulders and tried to stand a little taller. He locked his knees and elbows straight. “Why am I packing?”

“You played The Challenge.”

As if he could hide the rough pads, Mortimer tucked his thumbs inside his fists. He didn’t get it, he’d been careful. Every time he logged on he used someone else's I-dent. His plan to beat C-Deep was a fail.

“I told you it wasn’t a game,” she stared at the ceiling and sighed. “Mortimer, there are reasons… consequences, for every action.”

“Wh-where are you sending me?”

“To The Collective. There, perhaps, you can learn discipline. I should be along to visit you. Maybe. Mortimer, I am expecting you to get things under control.” She spun around. The identpad reverberated when she hit lock and hurried into the gym.

Mortimer left when the light on the entrypad flickered from green to lock-out red.

As usual no one was sent to help him but, on his Inf-pad, Mortimer found someone had programmed everything he needed: information in clear and easy to follow photo-vids. The first had the title: “How To Fold A Tee-shirt” and the next was called: “Packing For The Longer Journey.” There were less useful tips in: “The Safe Way To Carry A Heavy Suitcase.” Although knee bending and weightlifting were useful skills, Mortimer found dragging his case behind him using the belt from his best overalls worked pretty well.

Thank you.

I always appreciate feedback I receive.

Hope you are more organised for the holiday season than I am. I really must think about going shopping ;)

STOLEN: INCLUDING 9 THINGS LEARNED

2011-12-15T16:31:00.000Z

AUSTIN KLEON:
A WRITER WHO DRAWS

Austin Kleon's book How To Steal Like An Artist is out in March 2012. It is on my to be read list.
I love all things writing, poetical and artistic. Take a look at his website, he weaves words and images with presence.
His poster (which started this off) is amazing, I loved his advice.

What I loved even more than his calendar - which I haven't shown here - was his notebook, which he describes as his Logbook. Austin suggests you set targets but also that you celebrate, in the log, everything you succeed in doing.

The Logbook is not intended to be a conventional diary.

DO YOU KEEP NOTES ON A CALENDAR OR A LOG OF DAILY EVENTS?

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HELP YOU GET TO KNOW YOUR CHARACTER?

2011-12-13T16:42:00.000Z

While he was digging through the archives, Mortimer found the assessment sheet the Staff carried out on him.

PSYCH ABILITIES - SUMMARY SCORE SHEET
STUDENT: Mortimer Chilton		TEST ADMINISTRATOR: Staff
PSYCHIC DOMAIN		SCALE SCORE	PROFICIENCY LEVEL	THREAT
Apportation: materialisation, disappearance, or teleportation of an object a) Small b) Large		0/10	E	NONE
		0/10	E	NONE
Bilocation: evidence of physically being able to be present in two places at the same time		0/10	E	NONE
Biofield healing: evidence of healing by channelling energy a) Self b) Other		0/10	E	NONE
		0/10	E	NONE
Precognition: shows perception of future events before they happen.		0/10	E	NONE
Psychokinesis: The ability to manipulate matter, space, time or energy. a) Electrical b) Mechanical c) Physical d) Real time i) Internal ii) External iii) Distant		No evidence	E	NONE






Psychometry: the ability to obtain information about a person or object a) Past, b) Present c) At some point in the future.		0/10	E	NONE


Retrocognition Perceives past events as sequences of real time action		0/10	E	NONE
Telepathy a) The ability to transfer his thoughts or emotions to others b) Reading other's thoughts.			E	NONE

		1/10	B	MILD
Transvection a) Bodily levitation b) Flying			E	NONE
Transvection a) Bodily levitation b) Flying			E	NONE
This is an unpromising student, I have identified no evidence of psychic skill. All tests and observations show a mild ability to receive direction which could be useful if Mortimer were assigned to support a more talented psychic.
DESCRIPTION OF PROFICIENCY LEVELS
ENTERING	Knows and uses minimal skill for brief periods or unconsciously and without direction
BEGINNING	Knows and uses skills although output may be weak and of limited range
DEVELOPING	Knows and uses skills with some independence although needs some direction and external support
EXPANDING	Knows and uses skills with independence and without the need for supervision or direction
BRIDGING	Knows, uses and seeks to extend the limits of known psychic abilities
REACHING	Controls and uses all psychic abilities without control or limitations

Mortimer found out the Staff couldn't read him at all.

I CREATED AN ASSESSMENT CRITERIA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HELP YOU GET TO KNOW YOUR CHARACTER?

2011-12-11T13:22:00.001Z

Brenda Drake's Competition - Can we guess your character's age? - has meant I've had Mortimer on my mind. It's a rare thing for me to be totally MG all week but that is where I've been.

MY SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY has been hijacked by Mortimer, who in his pink thermo-regulating suit has been trying to save the universe.

For other writers who have been romancing or forging other kinds of relationships click here.

Thanks for visiting and thanks again if you commented.

The opening for MORTIMER CHILTON AND THE COLLECTIVE has been posted previously. Mortimer has been sent to join The Collective. It is a type of educational facility in an ancient space station in fixed orbit at the edge of the gallaxy. The Collective is not the school it is the minds of the many individuals who should be forged into one unit ready to unite against a formidable enemy.

In this section, the Principal has just met Mortimer.

Riding high in her tank, the Principal sailed through the open half of the stable-style door. She stopped above a thin piece furniture that was pushed against the wall – probably her desk. Once the bubbles settled she stared at Mortimer who was back on his feet and rubbing his sore knee and hip. Her flat face tilted to one side, if she’d had eyebrows they would have been raised high, or be meeting in the middle. Unexpectedly, she wagged a tentacle or several. “It doesn’t seem as if you have much talent for predicting what is going to happen, after all.”

I'm going out now to find holly and ivy for my bare and naked mantel and that is a steamy as things are going to get around here. Still a little steam would help the greenery last through to Twelfth Night ;)

I hope you are having a great weekend and that, for you, the words are flowing :D

CAN YOU GUESS THE CHARACTER'S AGE?

2011-12-08T16:51:00.006Z

Brenda Drake is hosting a Blogfest Contest with agent Ammi-Joan Paquette of the Erin Murphy Literary Agency.

A busy agent and author, Ammi-Joan Paquette only accepts queries via referral or from people she has met at conferences so this is a great opportunity.

The competition is happen’ ;)

If you want to join in head over to the Brenda Drake WritesBlog.

Here's how it's going down ...

Post the first 250 words of your finished, or not quite finished, manuscript (any genre) to your blogs. This contest is about voice--whether or not your character's voice matches his or her’s age. So if you mention the age or school grade in the first 250 words, please edit it out or block it out for this contest. Don't list the genre or title on your posts. If your 250 words falls in the middle of a sentence, continue to the end of the sentence.

From December 8th-9th hop around to other blogs and try to guess the age of the character, give critiques, or praise. Revise your entries, if you want, and email them to me by 11:59PM (EST) December 10th. (If you want, you may skip the blogfest/critique portion of this contest and just enter the contest.)

A panel of judges will choose the top twenty entries for the semi-finalist round, which will be posted on Brenda’s blog site

If you don't want your entry posted, don't enter the contest.

THIS IS MY ENTRY. I’D BE HAPPY TO HEAR ANY ADDITIONAL IDEAS OR THOUGHTS ON THIS PIECE:

The only times Mortimer felt close to his parent came with chest pains and a stitch in his side. She only allocated him the minutes between meetings, nutrition breaks and training, and she walked fast. Their time together ran out when he failed to keep up with her in the corridor. It wasn't that he didn't try it was just that her legs were longer. Mortimer could recognise her spun-around and pinned down ponytail anywhere, it was the view he saw most of the time. One day, things went differently: Mortimer could keep up and his parent stopped when she reached the gym door.

Fast, like she couldn't catch her breath, she said, “Mortimer, get your things together.”

“What?" Mortimer asked. His heart slipshifted like the ship did when they dropped into standard orbit. "Me? Wha-”

“You played The Challenge.”

As if he could hide the rough pads, Mortimer tucked his thumbs inside his fists. He didn't get it, he’d been careful. Never played under his own I-dent. His plan to beat the Challenger, System-c, was a fail.

“I told you it wasn’t a game,” she stared at the ceiling. “Mortimer, there are reasons… consequences, for our actions.”

Mortimer’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. “Wh-where are you sending me?”

“To The Collective. Perhaps there you can learn some discipline. I should be able to visit. Maybe. Mortimer, I am expecting you to get things under control.” She spun around. The identpad reverberated when she hit lock and hurried into the gym.

If you are keen and good to go, entries can be sent now.

The cut off time is December 10th at 11:59PM (EST).

Entries should be emailed to:

brendadrakecontests@gmail.com.

Remember to exclude any information from your entry that reveals the age (like, actual age or school grade - hints are good).

When you are ready to email, include the age of your character at the end of your entry.

Brenda will be the only one who sees the age. Our three judges, a university press editor, writer, and college student, will not have the age.

If two out of three judges guess your character's age, your entry will move to the consideration round.

From the consideration round, the top twenty will be chosen and posted on Brenda’s Blog by December 12th.

DO YOU THINK YOU WILL ENTER THE COMPETITION?

2011-12-05T14:13:00.005Z

THE COOL AS A CUCUMBER BLOGFEST!
If you want to have some fun why not head over to Madeleine's Scribble and Edit Blog.

The rules are simple:

Turn the cliché on its head, using irony and satire. Make it the subject of a Flash Fiction piece, a Poem or a Limerick.

Liberally sprinkle your entries with well placed clichés or make them the twist to your tale.

Make it the twist on the punch line to your story. Or make it a witty observation: e.g. Rachel's Holiday by Marion Keyes (1997) He kept touching his hair, which, as well as being dyed to within an inch of its life, was blow dried flicked and rigid with spray.

You may choose whichever idiom you like, such as 'The cat that got the cream'; 'As cool as a cucumber'; 'As good as gold', 'Kick the bucket'. Max 400 words for Flash Fiction.

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES AND KEEPING THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR

Molly, newly appointed house maid to the Reverend and Mrs Smith had been employed to lighten the load on the dainty Mrs Smith. For, truth be told, Daisy Smith's strength was challenged by handbags and teacups.

“Besides,” the Reverend announced, “’tis common knowledge, in the village, that the Rector, Mr Jones, had felt it was necessary to take on a maid of all works.”

Molly was keen to make a good impression so she set off with the lark. Her fingers were in a jam sandwich she carried with her. She hurried but somehow time flew by. She took the shortcut through the minister’s garden.

It was a warm day and the insects buzzed around Molly’s head. It wasn’t until she was introducing herself to her new employer that Molly found out she had a bee in her bonnet.

More than a little irritated, Mrs Smith was hot headed by the time the busy bee was gone.

Molly was banished out to the gardens which was a bit steep. Carrying a pitcher of milk from the dairy, she got caught in a rut and pitched head-first into the jars that had been collected and awaited washing.

Picking herself up from amongst shards of glass, Molly realised she was in a bit of a pickle. Mess was everywhere. Blood was thicker than water and a lot harder to clean up. But a maid's work is never done so, despite the pain in the neck, she had to get a move on. There was no use crying over spilt milk. That, or any other kinds of messes.

The hours were long and Molly was worn out.

Sharp, hungry howls sliced through the stillness. As she staggered to a stop, she gauged how far away the wolves were. Far enough. Safe enough.
Molly shook her head, she'd tried to finish up but there weren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. In the minister's garden, she'd only had time to sweep the broken glass up to the veranda built around the edge of the Smith's house. Still she had earned her wages, and that should keep the wolf from the door.

WORDS ARE WONDERFUL. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE WORD?

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - DRAWN - fevered and fed

2011-12-04T11:47:00.003Z

Christmas is coming, I can tell because the first of my brothers is due to arrive... in less than an hour.

Pressure. *argh! Think: house, food, wrapping paper and a ticking clock.

Still some things still need to be done - and posting is one of them - oops ;)

Every week, participants in SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY post six sentences from their work-in-progress *easy and huge amounts of fun :D

For this week’s list, click here.

Thanks for visiting and thanks again if you commented.

I'm still spending most of my writing time on my MG projects but I love Darrah and Hale too.

It continues directly after last week's post.

Darrah is The Arm of Elthor's Corp - this gives her responsibility for the men she selects to train and to lead. Her secret mission is to find the Regal's heir who has been taken. The evidence suggests that The Sarkisians - who, with their unusual powers and their need to feed directly from the living, are hated and feared - are responsible. Darrah, who has personal reasons to want all that race to husk and crumble is finding it hard deal with her reactions to Hale who has been sent to find out who, or what, is trying to destroy the fragile peace between their peoples.

Darrah is no longer hanging over a chasm Hale has lain his finger on her.

Welcome to my 6 :D

When Darrah could focus through the fever boiling in her blood, she saw Hale squeezed against the rough needles of rock that grew up from the cavern floor. On the narrow ledge, he couldn’t force himself any farther away. He’d pulled his fingers into fists and clenched them against his stomach. In the thin grey light, each tendon in his arms and chest glinted like metal ore through rock. Darrah didn’t want to think what it meant – what had happened – when he held her. Now the four finger marks on her wrist glowed but a fire raged everywhere.

I hope you are having a great weekend.

WHICH STAGE HAVE YOU REACHED WITH YOUR Work In Progress?

Well I never Blogfest

2011-12-01T13:24:00.000Z

I already had two reasons to be cheerful:

Not that Manchester United made my day
yesterday but that was November ;)

1 December has started! In our preparations for Christmas, we’re all chocolate Advent calendars and cheer, already.

2 National Novel Writing Month is a thing of the past. ;)

Congratulations, if you won: if you wrote 50,000 words or more within 30 days.

I’d started my wip in October, so, although I’ve been writing I didn’t take part in NaNoWriMo for 2011.

If you finished your novel remember now is the time to put the thing to bed – not to query - the poor book is exhausted after that huge growth spurt.

It’s a bit of a teen at the minute. If you leave it alone and let it rest for a while it’ll be so much easier to get it to do anything quality later. ;)

After all, ‘tis the season of reflection and rest (and, maybe, a little revision)

Then, Bloghopping around today, I found a third reason to have a bright and shiny day:

Vicki Rocco is holding her Well, I never Blogfest

Well, I never:

Sorry to be predictable but I never thought I'd write a book.

When I was growing up, I ate, slept and read books (all at the same time) :

I read on the bus.

I read when I was walking.

I read at the dinner table (or thought about the book when it was taken away and shelved)

And I didn’t sleep that much at all. When I went to bed, I sat on the window ledge and read by street light.

How I would’ve loved to have been living where I do today. In our house's multi-cornered position – I counted – there are seven different streetlights all illuminating my bedroom; it is bliss! However, all that beaming electricity is wasted on me now no one tells me off for having the light on two hours after I’ve gone to bed. (I have to add, when it comes to illumination irritation, my husband could sleep on the surface of the sun – give or take the other problem with the sun’s surface.)

Still, I never thought I’d write a book.

I have one of those spelling things that only spell checker and access to the internet’s instant reassurance could cure.

Did you know some dyslexics can read? Somehow though, the same spellings we can recognise when we're reading are tricksy little bleeders to pin down one letter at a time.

My teacher used to say deciphering my stories was like mining for gold, like knowing there was treasure and she just had to work a little harder to reveal it. She said I made sure it was worth the effort.

(If you are interested, I learned lots of words and carry a card with any words I know I’d mis-spell if I panic.)

Well, I never: one day, I sat down and started writing a book.

I have finished four.

Now, all I need to do is find an agent who loves my stories as much as I do.

Short of re-enacting scenes from Misery, I work at improving my skills and polishing my manuscripts.

Was there something you didn't believe you would ever be able to do?

I LOVE DARK YA How to save a life? Check Sara Zarr

2011-11-29T12:09:00.000Z

Kelley York, Heather McCorkle, Christa Desir, and E.R. King of YAtopia have hosted a month-long blogfest in November for anyone who loves their YA books on the darkside.

This is the last week ;(

WEEK 5:

30th November: Waiting on Wednesday—What dark YA book are you most looking forward to?

As, (*guilty secret *blushes) I'm addicted to Teen Mom - Janelle; what can I say? - the dark YA book I'm looking forward to reading is "how to save a life" by Sara Zarr.

Frustrations, dilemmas and uncertain futures, I have got to read this book.

When she wants to adopt a baby, Jill's Mum invites a pregnant teen to live with them until the child is born.

This is a trio of relationships I would love to read.

It is a described as a story of teenage pregnancy that really delivers.

WHEN IT COMES TO TELEVISION VIEWING, DO YOU HAVE A GUILTY SECRET?

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - DRAWN

2011-11-27T11:29:00.002Z

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY

The clue is in the title, every week the participants post six sentences from their work-in-progress.

For this week’s list, click here.

Welcome to my 6 ;) Thanks for visiting and thanks again if you commented.

This is the novel I work between session writing MG.

It continues directly after last week's post - because I couldn't leave Darrah hanging any longer ;)

Darrah is The Arm of Elthor's Corp - this gives her responsibility for the men she selects to train and to lead. Her secret mission is to find the Regal's heir who has been taken. The evidence suggests that The Sarkisians - who, with their unusual powers and their need to feed directly from the living, are hated and feared - are responsible. Darrah, who has personal reasons to want all that race to husk and crumble is finding it hard deal with her reactions to Hale who has been sent to find out who, or what, is trying to destroy the fragile peace between their peoples.

Darrah is hanging over a chasm clinging to Hale's wrist. Even though he could help her Hale has, so far, chosen not to lay a finger on her.

DRAWN

Although it was hot and steamy, the unworldly air, from far below, chilled her. Darrah felt sick, nothing she tried stopped her hand sliding over his wrist. Before giving in to the inevitable, she gazed along their arms until she could look Hale in the eye. Whatever she’d expected to see it wasn’t the red blotches of shame in his cheeks or the impossibly wide, dark lakes of his eyes. As each of his fingers connected, one by one, along her wrist, Darrah gasped. With the faintest of tugs she was all warmth… and darkness.

If you have been celebrating, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving Weekend. :D

We've been celebrating our son's birthday with different groups of friends and family since last Wednesday - that was a long birthday ;) Now we can start thinking about Christmas.

November is nearly over, did you get lots of writing completed? Did you see your word count rise?

ASK LEONARDO, IT IS NEVER REALLY FINISHED

2011-11-24T19:24:00.001Z

THE VIRGIN ON THE ROCKS
Leonardo da Vinci
1495-1508

Art is never finished, only abandoned.
Leonardo da Vinci

THE VIRGIN ON THE ROCKS
Leonardo da Vinci
1483-1486

Writing. Are you getting it done?

When the manuscript is finished and the revision has been done, do you find you love the novel but every time you look through it you find words, phrases, sentences - or more - you need to tweak, reorder or replace?

You are not alone.

Writing, like art, it is never finished.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

INSPIRED BY ART 3 - Leonardo da Vinci

DARK YA - THE GIVER - UTOPIA TURNED DARK

2011-11-22T17:01:00.003Z

Kelley York, Heather McCorkle, Christa Desir, and E.R. King of YAtopia are hosting the DARK YA blogfest.

The theme for this blogfest:

WEEK 4:

23rd November: #YASAVES—Blog about how a dark YA book made an impact in your life.

After my daughter was born, and when The Whirlwind was napping, I never got the hang of catching up on sleep - I was too busy reading. One book cut through my idyll.

In The Giver, Lois Lowry created a society where drugs suppress emotions, where individuals are matched as partners, where one male and one female child – born to women designated as Birthmothers – are allocated to couples to create balanced families: I felt this world resonate through mine.

Genetic engineering had manipulated human beings so they couldn't even see in colour, so they physically conformed to Sameness. In this world, everyone had the same dark eyes, except Jonas – and a few other exceptions – who were born with pale eyes.

All members of the society had to abide by rules. If anyone broke the rules three times they could be punished by Release. With a child who already showed an inability to understand that societal norms applied to him, the unfolding of what Release meant was very chilling.

The Community’s Committee of Elders would meet to assign each 12-year-old the job they would perform for the rest of their lives in The Ceremony of Twelve.

Jonas, the central character in the novel turned Twelve.

During the Ceremony of Twelve, the Elder did not call Jonas.

After everyone else has been given their Assignment, the Chief Elder explained that Jonas would train to be the Receiver of Memories. Another had been selected, sometime in the past, but that Receiver was considered to be a failure.

In his new role, Jonas watched his father care for baby twins. Selecting the lighter child, his nurturing father gave one baby a lethal injection and dumped the body in the rubbish.

The world had once included violence, sadness, and loss, as well as love, beauty, joy, adventure, animals, and family.

Jonas realised that the extremes were better than being dulled and inhumane.

This dark novel impressed me, deeply.

I think it still has the power to reach teenagers and other authors, today.

WHICH NOVEL MADE AN IMPACT ON YOU?

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - DRAWN OR POSSIBLY DROPPED ;)

2011-11-20T09:53:00.003Z

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY

When Saturday's X-factor was dreary and plodding and I was finding it hard to choose between four dull acts to hope wouldn't make it back next week, I found time to write this post :)

If you're that interested, in the end, I couldn't decide between spotlight-and-static or winsome-and-lilting as the acts who are going nowhere except predictably round to where they were at the start.

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY

In this weekly feature, participants post six sentences of their work.

I am also delighted to get a little feedback on the work.

Thank you for visiting and thanks again if you commented.

For a list of this week’s participants, click here.

This is a small section of the novel I work on when I forget I am supposed to be writing MG. It continues directly after last week's post - which is odd, for me ;)

Darrah is The Arm of Elthor's Corp - this gives her responsibility for the men she selects to train and to lead. Her secret mission is to find the Regal's heir who has been taken. The evidence suggests that The Sarkisians - who, with their unusual powers and their need to feed directly from the living, are hated and feared - are responsible. Darrah, who has personal reasons to want all that race to husk and crumble is finding it hard deal with her reactions to Hale who has been sent to find out who, or what, is trying to destroy the fragile peace between their peoples.

DRAWN

Darrah was a spasm away from letting go of the Sarkisian’s wrist. Her fingers ached and bone deep strain wrenched through her arm. She wondered where the flashes of her life were – the ones that were supposed to distract her from the fact that she was only seconds away from death. The images of her loving family were probably cowering before her anger. She didn’t mind dying, like living rough and training, it was part of her calling, but she did object to succumbing when the strong male nearby held his hand tantalising inches away from hers.

“I knew your sort could never be trusted!”

Now, I didn't have to miss family time. Feeling mighty pleased about that ;)

ARE YOU HAVING A GREAT WEEKEND?

INSPIRED BY ART 2 - INCIDENTAL COMICS: Literary Devices

2011-11-17T18:44:00.001Z

Inspired by art for the second Thursday's in a row? What were the chances of that? ;)
Today's post is hosted by Incidental Comics and to add anything else would ruin the purity of the art work.

My daughter added the link to Grant Snider at his thoughtballoonhelium.blogspot.com and I have to say she knows me sooooo well.
I was hooked from Grant's FORESHADOW PUPPET.

You could help Grant out by nominating INCIDENTAL COMICS as the "Best Webcomic 2011.
e-mail them to comicriffs AT washpost.com

or, if possible, add a comment in the usual box.

WHICH LITERARY DEVICE MADE YOUR GRIN SPREAD WIDEST?

For teacher-types this poster is available free from Grant's blog.;)

I LOVE DARK YA BLOGFEST - I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU by John Marsden

2011-11-15T16:53:00.000Z

I spell Wednesday a different way, oops!

Kelley York, Heather McCorkle, Christa Desir, and E.R. King of YAtopia are hosting a month-long blogfest in November for anyone who loves their YA books on the darkside.

WEEK 3:

16th November: Music and Movie Fun—Take a dark YA book and build a soundtrack for it or cast characters for a movie version.

I looked for music for to do justice to a great YA novel that helps many people explore the affects of domestic abuse, depression, loss and self-esteem.

So Much To Tell You by John Marsden

Written in journal layout - short and direct - this is an extremely moving story.

None of the therapies the specialists tried have helped her.

Mariana has been disfigured and she will not speak.

In her journal she describes the people around her - her family and friends - and how everyone interacts with her face and with her.

Her facial scars are only one kind of hurt she is suffering.

She feels isolated and depressed.

The main themes in this book are adolescence, child abuse, domestic violence, depression, family relationships, self-esteem and trust.

Going Under - Saliva
(This song sums up how Mariana feels.)

Dirt On Your New Shoes – Bishop Allen

Angel - Belly

Can Freedom Regulate The Volume – Bolt Action Five

I Hate Camera – the bird and the bee

Hill of Our Home – Psapp

I’m Good, I’m Gone – Lykke Li

CAN YOU THINK OF A SONG THAT SUMS UP WHAT YOUR WIP IS ALL ABOUT?

SIX SENTENCES FOR SUNDAY - DRAWN - NEXT TIME, FAMILY IRRESPONSIBILITY?

2011-11-13T15:52:00.004Z

Blast!

Family and all things Sunday have conspired against me again, and I am late to post. I'm beginning to think being rude to the family in Family Time is the only answer, that or posting on Saturday night late - so late it counts as Sunday.

Oh woe!

I read the reminder that chiseling and chipping at another writer's work is by invitation only so please, feel yourself well-and-truly welcome to offer suggestions on ideas, punctuation or vocabulary selection and a HUGE thank you to all of you who do :D

DRAWN fantasy/romance

Darrah is The Arm of Elthor's Corp - this gives her responsibility for the men she selects to train and to lead. Her secret mission is to find the Regal's heir who has been taken. The evidence suggests that The Sarkisians - who, with their unusual powers and their need to feed directly from the living, are hated and feared - are responsible. Darrah, who has personal reasons to want all that race to husk and crumble is finding it hard deal with her reactions to Hale who has been sent to find out who, or what, is trying to destroy the fragile peace between their peoples.

As Darrah slipped she scrabbled around for something to hold.

There were no rocks or roots in the cascade of small stones, dust and disturbed bats.

Louder than all, rushing blood filled her head with an ocean of sound. The sandy stone, frosted by glittering crystal, whirled by - light and dark, in turn - and all of it gilded by glimpses of the Sarkisian's golden skin. As the blended images spun in her mind, she ran her hand over the leather strips that banded his arm until she curled her fingers around Hale's wrist.

Time slowed when Darrah realised she now hung over a precipice and the Sarkisian's fingers strained away from her.

Happy Sunday! I hope you are all keeping up with your writing targets and the words are flowing.

ARE YOU FINDING IT HARD TO BALANCE WRITING TARGETS WITH OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES?

INSPIRED BY SERENDIPITY AND ART

2011-11-10T13:04:00.001Z

A costume sculpture made of shredded
newspapers found around East London,
by Fabio Lattanzi Antinori and Alicja Pytlewska.

So, I was sitting here this morning, with my cup of tea, reading the newspaper while I was trying to decide what I should post today.

I typed tea and newspaper into Google and I found an amazing website.

Miss Tiny's Where is my tea? is a new favourite with me.

I have never seen so much character in such an inanimate object.

Then I got to thinking: all characters are made up of different combinations of words.

Individual words don't make a character it is all about how the words are shaped and combined.

HAVE YOU BEEN INSPIRED BY ART?